The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology.
To what extent do you agree?
World needs to prepare young generation in the early age to face modern era. In this situation, Schools should actively take an important part to make them ready. As they have to focus on some useful subjects related to information technology, an opinion about to cut off art and music from the curriculum comes up. This argumentation is not absolutely wrong, but in the other hand children also need arts and music as a part of their life. I partly disagree to eliminate those subject out of curriculum and education.
Art and music are some most important components in the development of children. Since babies were born in the world, they have dealt with music and some kinds of arts. They understand music at the first time they can hear a sound. Those are familiar with children, so it seems like we take a piece of what they have naturally. Music and art can control mood and human's emotion, moreover children. Keeping them in a good mood and making them enthusiastic to study are not an easy task to do. Teachers in kindergarten use music to give an instruction for their students, also they use a simple drawing or picture to get them interested in studying lessons. This means that music and art cannot be separated from the students, especially children.
In other condition, music can increase the students' intelligence. Some research shows that a person who plays musical instrument well has better opportunity to master academic subjects quickly because tones that they produce in the music can stimulate their creativity, imagination and comprehension. It strengthens the argument that music and art should not be eliminated. In addition, Albert Einstein ever stated that imagination is more important than knowledge. we know that music and art have a tight connection with imagination itself. Therefore, eliminating those subjects is not suggested.
By some thoughts above, i assume that the problem is not about tightening up the academic skills of the students by eliminating those subjects, but how to make a correlation between science and art. We cannot put such an pressure on young students to learn certain subject strictly. Sometimes what parents and teacher think is not always right. In other words, it does not mean that students will have more seriousness in their academic subjects without music and art. Just let the students freely choose what they want to learn as their interest. Schools just need to guide them properly, and finally the students will find the way of what they are as they grow up and have more understanding.
hi, aviniwirastri. here my comment. keep writing
to cut off art and music from the curriculum comes up. --> you need to pharapsrase, not just copied the exact word from the question They understand music at the first time they can hear a sound. --> this sentence is not make a sense, better to replace 'understand' with hear/notice to
In other condition, music can increase the students'
intelligence.use proficiency since 'increase' doesn't match with 'intelligence'
By some thoughts above, i assume that the problem is not about
the academic skills words choice related to academic skill :broaden, enhance, improve, increase, sharpen, upgrade, etc.
cannot put such
an pressure on young students --> article issue
In other words, it does not mean that students will have more
seriousness in their academic subjects without music and art.--> level, set, acquisition,
and finally the students will find the way of what they are as they grow up and have more understanding. hard to understand
World needs to prepare young generation in ...
The role of education is to prepare children for ...
The schools have tried to provide the need wanted by the students as preparation for the modern world. I really disagree, when the schools must cut art and music out of the curriculum as it cannot be denied that we still need music and art in the modern world.
Hello Miss Avini, i have read your writing, let me give you suggestion.
in the first paragraph, you mention your position clearly:
I partly disagree to eliminate those subject out of curriculum and education.
But, in the following paragraph until the conclusion, you only mention about your disagreement though you say that you are only "Partly Disagree ", so i think you should explain about agreement also (even if it is only few) .