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Show how you intend to use the knowledge, skills and connection you will gain from your scholarship

adhesti 3 / 10  
Apr 28, 2016   #1
a) give up to three practical examples of how you intend to use the knowledge, skills and connection you will gain from your scholarship. Possible tasks can be personal and/or professional, and

b) list any possible constraints you think may prevent you from achieving these tasks:

The first thing I want to do is analyze the asset recorded in the system. I want to apply the assets recording system that can directly identify its value by GAAP and FQR simultaneously.

The next thing I want to apply is working together with IT Division to be able to copy assets information recorded in government and input it automatically in SAP. The information should be compared in real time so that if there are value differences of each asset can be readily identified. The negotiation process with the government is needed at this stage.

Furthermore, if the recording of assets can already be applied, I want to apply the recording system in SAP-based PSC Accounting. Thus making the FQR no longer done manually.

There are two main constraints that will prevent me from achieving the tasks.
First, the problem of convoluted bureaucracy. As we all know, public sector companies in Indonesia has a tortuous administration system. ABC has been trying to cut red tape in order to prepare elaborate to be the World Class Company. Bureaucracy inhibits the cross-level and cross-division communication. Negotiation skills needed to embrace a wide range of parties.

Second, the generation gap between the top level and the lowest level. it impacts in the ERP system implementation. On the staff level, the ERP system has already been used by all the staff. Meanwhile, there are fewer who familiar with ERP on the top management level.

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 778 309  
Apr 30, 2016   #2
Adhesti, I like the way you deliver your intention. It is perfectly clear and straight to the point. Yet, I still found some grammatical problems which you need to revise soon. Moreover, you also need to elaborate your ideas in the first and the third part, since it only consists of two sentences. This is not a solid paragraph at all, which will make the reader think that you are running out of ideas. So, you need to add 1 or 2 more sentences in order to strengthen your paragraph. Now, the descriptions below are your grammatical issues, with corrections applied.

- if there are valuevalues differences
- Thus, makingit makes the FQR no longer done manually. (missing verb)
- First, thethere is a problem of convoluted bureaucracy. (missing verb)
- Itit impacts in the ERP (capital letter)

The you have it Adhesti, I hope you can follow through my feedback :) Good Luck for your application
OP adhesti 3 / 10  
Apr 30, 2016   #3
thank you Ichan.

It was because I was simply answer the question a) and b) directly. I was trying to abbreviate the essay. but yes, I should still consider making all the paragraph comprehend one another.

I was pleased to know my essay was clearly enough. I have been trying to compose the essay for a month. at first, I thought it would be effortless to have it done. but then I was just loose all the ideas. maybe it was because the essay was intended for the scholarship and I was too nervous :-D

thank you for the review :)
it helped me so much.

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