GKS-U personal statement
Hello, i am Leon.
I want to apply for gks-u. Would you review my personal statement? Here it is.
I live in a simple family, not rich and not poor. My parents are high school graduates but uphold education. That motivates me to be the best and continue my education to a higher level. I studied as a high school student at *****, which is one of the best schools in my province. It only has one major, chemical analysis. My satiable on the matter and its nature and my research interest have inspired me to continue my study there.
In high school, in my 4th year, I did my internship at *****. I was put in a division that I was less interested in. But I tried to do my internship with pleasure and seriously and convinced myself that everything in my life has lessons. However, I know that even a small thing is meant if you see it from a different perspective.
For my internship report, I chose 'analysis using the IR spectrophotometer' as a title. The sample for that tool are arrived and analysed a few weeks from the deadline of the report's submission and it is my first time using that tool. The little time left, I tried to study it while writing my internship report. Fortunately, I can submit my internship report on time. My supervisor told me that my internship report is good and no need for a critical revision and also it organized systematically.
Back to the time when I was in high school, inorganic chemistry was my favourite subject. There's a chapter about nuclear radiation. When studying that chapter, I am very enthusiastic and excited. The fact that nuclear has many benefits in life makes me more interested.
In my 3rd year, my school held an industrial visit to Malaysia. One of the industries I visited is the Malaysian nuclear agency. It excites me to know more about nuclear. After high school, I became more interested in improving my knowledge about nuclear and so I chose to study nuclear engineering.
We all know that nuclear power is a major source of energy in South Korea. And Korea is Indonesia's mecca in the nuclear field. The GKS allows me to study in a country that has good knowledge about nuclear.
Korea also a destination of innovation, technology, and tourism. And I am deeply motivated by the prospects of learning Korean rich culture. This is the chance for me to understand and live the Korean culture of globalism and future development.
Therefore, I believe that my experience of living overseas since high school and my experience of having travelled abroad and feeling cultural differences could help me adapt and overcome culture shock while studying in Korea later. And I will keep my goal in mind-that all the courses I take will bring me closer to my college degree and future success. There is no guarantee that I will always be 100% enthusiastic about studying. I know because I have experienced this in senior year, but I trust that I will immediately regain the drive to excel. I believe GKS will support me to make my dream comes true.
Thanks for your timeā”
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 It istoo lally for you to be writing your personal statement ffor the scholarship. Applications are still closed so the updated prompt requirements for the next application cycle are still unkown. You cannot pre-empt the requirements and waste the effort you put into writing the paper if the prompts change then. You should wait and see what will be required of you to write when the time comes. You can keep this as a draft, just in case.
I will comment on your work but don't make any changes as yet due to the reasons I previously indicated.
The actual writing is fractured and lacking in connected development. Your experience in Malaysia is a good reference point but should be used to fully explain how this influenced your course choice. The reasons you have for choosing Korea are not convincing at all and sounds like you are just paying lip-service to the reviewer. Had you written this during the actual application reason, I would be in a better position to help you improve this essay. I don't want to give you blind advice for improvement that might be a futile exercise. Wait for the next application season and get back to me then with a new or improved application essay.
