I have been working on my personal statement for the 2020 KGSP-Graduate. This is my first draft and I would really appreciate it if you could give me any kind of advice. Thank you.
one step ahead
Since I was a high school student, I already had a dream to study abroad. The reason is I believe that I can explore more myself potential and do more to achieve my life goals when I study in a new environment. I believe that studying abroad will expand my horizons, experiences, and open up new perspectives in looking at life. Unfortunately, realizing about my family's economic condition, it seems like the dream is just wishful thinking. So, at that time I was always thinking about how to enter the national university with Bidikmisi scholarship in my country. Therefore, my parents didn't need to think about my school fees. I am very confident with the achievements that I had got in the school. I will definitely get the scholarship. But when the selection for the scholarship, I failed to enter as a recipient. As well as the state university joint selection (called SBMPTN in my country), I failed. I realize that my failure occurred is caused by my inability to choose a major. I choose a medical major where I follow my goals as a child. However, for a child who comes from a village to compete with so many people who want that position is not easy, I did not take into account how big a chance I could get there. Finally, when I finished my high school, I didn't continue my studies to university level. I had decided to try taking a test next year. During a year, I spent entering English courses and working in my free time. In 2015, I managed to enter the national university and accepted as a student of Bilingual Mathematics Education in State University of Medan. I choose Bilingual Mathematics Education because it was like kill two bird with one stone. There I study about Mathematic Education then I can also hone my English skills. I manage to finish my study for 4.5 years and get a bachelor's degree in Education in 2019. During the college, I got a lot of information about scholarship abroad. Remembering my dream years ago, it turn out that studying abroad was not just dream if you put effort into achieving that dream. So, at the end of academic year, I was looking for a variety of scholarship which profitable and understand my condition. At the end of 2019, I found KGSP from one of the KGSP recipient on YouTube. I was interested in this scholarship and begin to learn it. The offering from KGSP really helped me in achieving my goals. All the facilities are provided by KGSP gave hope for me that the dream will definitely be achieved. Not only fantastic facilities, KGSP also gives a lesson of Korean for its recipients. And I really like this opportunity "kill bird with one stone". Learning a new language, a new environment, and a new culture is a first opportunity I can get, the second is to deepen my knowledge in my chosen filed and get a master's degree. And I am sure there are many more unexpected opportunities that I can get.
Education is the single most important factor in the development of a country. I think a good education system will brings a country to have the quality human resources. The right utilization of human resources will deliver a country to an advance. Soult Korea is known worldwide as a country for the high quality of its education system. When I was browsing in the internet about the best quality education system, then a Soult Korean will appear there. Korean's citizen is also very aware to importance of education, it is proven by Soult Korean is praised as one of the countries with the highest literacy rates in the world. As a bachelor with an education background, I want developing my knowledge in the utilization of human resources in education and being a professional in that field. I believe by taking Education Administrations as major of my master in the one of universities that I had chosen in Soult Korea, it will help taking me to the career path that I want. My motivation is to want to be directly involved in the government to form and to run the education system in achieving education goal and also to create the quality human resources. Being able to see and feel the education system directly from Soult Korea government is an honor and pride for me. I had also found a list the enumerated the many advantages for foreign student that Soult Korea offers compared to other countries. One of them is the cost living in Soult Korea is not too expensive and this is another reason I choose Soult Korea as country where I continue my study.
During my time as a student, I was very active in any intra and extra campus organization. In intra campus organization I have a long career. I was one part of The Student Association of Mathematics Department as an Art, Culture and Sport department, then became part of The Faculty Student Representative council as general secretary and the last is part of The Faculty Student Senate as Research and Technology Development department. In the extra campus organization, I am active in The Islamic Student Association. From this organization I gained a lot of knowledge, such as good communication, managing finances, making an event, and also administrative knowledge. The climax was when I was a general secretary at one of the women's institution in the organization. I really learn how to arrange time for meeting, manage organizational administration, communicate well with superior or subordinates and ensure that every work program of the organization is carried out. My hobby is dancing, I like traditional dance. When I am dancing it is feel like can express myself and the most thing I like about dancing is using the costume. When I was in high school, I had visited my region to dance at the provincial level in cultural events. I also applied my hobby in the campus. I often performed dancing in any campus and organizational event. Preserving culture for me is one form of loving the country. I may not be the best academic applicant, but I am a hard worker who is not easy to give up. I believe that every effort which I make, it will definitely pay off one day. I once read an article, there is a principle that was instilled from childhood on Korean people to always be one step ahead, that is "When other people fall asleep, you have to wake up. When other people wake up, you have to walk. When other people walk, you have to run. When other people run, you have to fly". I believe with this scholarship I will be the one of people who are always one step ahead.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 13,397 4385
Do not lose sight of what this personal statement is supposed to contain. You have an unnecessary focus on how you discovered KGSP, why you want to win this scholarship, and what you think of a Korean educational system. The specifics of this essay must contain focused paragraphs with specific topics required. You need to write a new essay based on the following parameters:
- A better introduction of your family background. Include a description of your parents, the income they make, and why your family situation led you to believe that you could only achieve a proper undergraduate education by winning a scholarship.
- The motivation to study in Korea must be related more to your desire for a proper career using Korean training instead of simply dreaming big and hoping to change your world by getting a sponsored education abroad. Think global, not self-centered and pigeon hole educational experiences.
- I would push the experiences as a part of your motivation to study abroad by relating it to a significant experience or person of influence. That way, you highlight a significant event that led to a realization, which will be beneficial to you in the future. Positive influences in your life will come in handy when trying to prove that you have a desire to be a successful person. The support of others in relation to your dreams and ambitions have a significant impact on your application. It shows resilience and a personal drive to succeed.
- While your extra curricular activities are alright, you need something more to represent your abilities as a student. One in terms of academic achievement which, in this case, isn't impressive because you talked about your failure to gain a scholarship. Remove that reference to remove the negative point of view about your academic abilities. In its place, refer to any type of academic achievement that you can refer to . The KGSP looks for academic achievers to include in their roster. In this case, you weakened your chances by not making a reference to that and instead, pointing to your academic failure by not gaining the scholarship you applied for.
Changing these aspects of your essay should help strengthen your application. Your personal statement will be properly directed in terms of giving your application a chance for consideration.