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Scholarship Personal Statement for Erasmus Mundus Master Programme in International Security



ClaraRA 1 / -  
Jan 14, 2018   #1
1.What is your main motivation for applying to the IMSISS postgraduate degree?
2.How will your educational background and/or work experience inform your engagement with this programme?
3.How will this programme support your future career development?

show what makes you stand out as a candidate


Max 600 words

Security, intelligence and strategy are interrelated themes that are at the top of the international agenda, shaping policies, defining relationships and saving or costing lives. Throughout my academic journey, I have considered these subjects through a multidisciplinary perspective, taking courses on Human Rights, Geopolitics, Global Issues, Security and Defense Studies and an extension course on Humanitarian Law, Psychoanalysis and International Conflicts.

As my academic trajectory highlights, I find essential to go beyond traditional international relations theories and consider local and regional intricacies as well as culture, religion and identity matters when evaluating security issues. My bachelor's thesis analyses this interconnection by reviewing how local culture, imperialism, globalisation and identity radicalization play a role in shaping today's terrorist threats.

I am also strongly motivated by the course's innovative and interdisciplinary take on contemporary security challenges, the opportunities of practical skills development, the continuous mobility across leading European universities, the access to world class researchers and, finally, the work placement opportunities, which would enable me the invaluable experience of turning my dissertation into an of-value output to an International Organization.

During graduation, I was a research assistant at the Laboratory of Latin American Studies at UFRJ and investigated cases of political violence in Peru, finding that they were widespread even during peacetime. This experience gave me a background on research, data management and analytics, which I am looking forward to further developing during this programme by learning new research techniques and methodologies and putting them to use through the production of policy briefs and papers. Moreover, taking classes such as International Security and Strategic Thought, Political Terrorism, Conflict Studies and Terrorism and Counterterrorism will also complement my current background, while significantly broadening my scope of expertise and making me a more well-rounded professional and academic. Finally, I also strongly believe that, due to my constructivist and identity focused background, I have a fresh and relevant perspective to bring to this Master.

My academic experience also encompasses a 2 semesters exchange program to the Porto University, in Portugal and a course on French Civilization in Paris at Sorbonne University, which helped me develop a multicultural mindset, flexibility and team work. On the professional side, I volunteered in an organization in the countryside of Mexico, where I worked on providing rural women access to education, medical and legal support through convoys. This experience made more resilient, culturally sensitive and proactive, which are essential to sucessfuly completing a Master as broad as this one.

I also have extensive risk assessment experience in multinational corporations, such as Willis Towers Watson and Nissan Motor Corporation. From 2016 to 2017, I worked with Risk Management for Nissan Latin America, where I supported the overseeing of the operations in 38 countries. Besides developing intercultural communication, creativity and multitasking habilities, I also developed data analytics capabilities and used them to assess compliance risks in the region.

If given a place in this Master, I will have the opportunity of deepening the risk management skills I have developed in the private sector and applying them to a broader scope, addressing security matters within a global, national and regional context. I will acquire the expertise of critically evaluating security concerns while considering the ethical implications, strategic tactics and potential outcomes, which will enable me to either further my studies through a PhD or chase a career shift to International Development areas, which is a professional goal of mine. Furthermore, based on my studies and work experience, my multi-disciplinary nature and my consistent history of dedication and good performance, I strongly feel that I am an excellent candidate for this Master.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15411  
Jan 15, 2018   #2
Clara, your main motivation for the masters degree should not be academic in nature, it has to be profession related. While it is admirable that you were able to find an academic motivation for your studies. the purpose of a masters degree is to help enhance your professional abilities. So what is it about your current profession and abilities that pushed to to study this course? I do not gain a sense of profession related interests in your statement other than unimpressive work with Nissan and Willis Towers. It is unimpressive because you did not make an impression or achieve something extraordinary during your time with these companies. The Erasmus Mundus will only sponsor high qualified applicants who have began to make a mark in their field of word beyond the ordinary rank and file performance and abilities.

You mentioned your bachelor thesis in this essay. That can be part of the motivating factors for you to cite. Inform the reviewer about the potential masters thesis that you plan to pursue in relation to your previous research. Then explain its real time applications and areas for implementation if you are given a chance to do this on an international scale.

Focus less on your academic presentations. This is a masters degree that has a minimum 2 year work requirement. What have you done over the past 2 years in your field of work, which, by the way, you have not clarified in the essay. Even if your academics are strong and sound, if you cannot prove an actual work related application for your college studies, then your masters degree application weakens in presentation.

Volunteer activities are sometimes acceptable as replacements for your work activities but only if you have done something remarkable or implemented something of note during your time as a member of the organization. From what I have read in your application, you have not done anything of note anywhere in your internships or volunteer activities. That is why I am hoping that you will have some actual work experience in the field of international security that will highlight your abilities as a future international security expert. Your time with Nissan Latin America could perhaps be expanded to a point where your application of your current knowledge will prove that you are a viable candidate for the scholarship. At this point, the application essay is not remarkable nor memorable due to the lack of professional accomplishments.

With regards to your future career development, the essay is not asking you what you hope to learn but rather, how you hope to apply what you have learned during the course in your line of work. An appropriate response would be something along the lines of working for the UN Security Council or something similar in a manner that will allow you to apply what you have learned within your chosen field of expertise.

By the way, the term is not "During graduation". The more appropriate term is "During my undergraduate studies..." Graduation is the right by which you are awarded your completion certificate after your studies on an undergraduate level. A graduate level person is someone who has completed masters degree studies. A mistake in terms could result in a misunderstanding of your essay and result in questions regarding your actual qualifications. You also spelled "abilities" as "habilities". These create a negative impression of you as a potential graduate student as you are not using the English terms properly nor spelling it properly.

Develop your "extensive risk management experience" to a greater extent at these corporations. These might be the professional experience of note that is missing at the moment in your essay. Remember, you need to make sure that you mention stand out moments for yourself in the form of work related accomplishments that were noted by your immediate supervisor or higher management. You cannot mention an extensive experience and then simplify the description with rank and file duties as you have explained at the moment.


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