Statement of Purpose; Goal of Study & Study Plan Graduate : Art Management

Hello Everyone!
I am right now preparing to apply for SK Scholarship for Graduate Program and i am planning to apply to an Art Management Program.
I would Appreciate any feedback!

SK Scholarship for Graduate Program application

Pursuing Art Management will be a perfect fit as I had an interest in creative industries and to meet my career aspirations. Furthermore, learning it in the country that has rapid growing in creative industries like SK will gain more experiences and knowledge. Previously, I had my bachelor in Interior Design where from this program it broadens my view and experiences in the creative industry. During my bachelor years, I found issues of artists, designers and creative workers that didn't get proper appreciation. Hence, making me want to help the creative workers, artists, designers to get proper appreciation through showcasing their works with online and offline exhibitions. Other than that, I'd also want to help my home country, Indonesia to grow its creative industries, as Indonesia aim to be a global creative economy player by 2030 and I want to build a bigger relationship between Indonesia and SK in its Creative Industries. Therefore, by learning Art Managament it could help me to gain more knowledge and aim my dreams in the future.

For the study plan itself with normal length of study about 2 years and 1 year Korean language program, I divided into three phases,
·First year, I'll adjust, adapt, and learn the language, art and culture of Korea
·Second Year, I will also adjust, adapt, learn the language, art and culture, and hopefully I'll enroll to the university
·Third Year, Hopefully I will apply for an Internship and do my research to graduate on Time on the third year.

The goal of study will be your thesis proposal. How do you plan to spend your time researching a topic of particular importance to you and your career during your time as a student? What is the title of your research paper? Explain the meaning of the title. If it is based on a particular subject, what is the relevance of that subject to your future career? Why is it relevant that you do deep research into this aspect of your studies? As for the study plan, you need to show that you are familiar with the advancements of Korea in this field of study by mentioning how you plan to execute your research. Where will it be done? Why have you chosen to do research there? What aspect of the research will be completed there? What do you hope to learn from that technical exposure?

The presentation you currently have is improper and irrelevant to the requirement for this particular portion of the application. What the reviewer actually wants to see is how well you have researched the academic and technical advancements Korea has made in this field of study. This will show your tenacity as a student and your serious desire to complete your masters course in South Korea due to your familiarity with the field of study as Korea represents it.

Hi @moondeluna

Hope all is well with you!

Here is my feedback on your essay:
The study goal might look more proper if you breakdown the courses that you will take and elaborate with the goal of why are you studying the proposed course.

if you breakdown the course and able to elaborate it with your study objectives, I believe the person who read your essay will understand and consider the essay more structural, besides I think you need to research more on the specific course so that you can explain deeper.

by reading this essay, I still can not see what is the practical/tangible goals in essay -> other than that, I'd also want to help my home country, Indonesia to grow its creative industries, please mention in which way and how what do you do to make this happen (the more specific you are, the more I understand the essay)

Thank you

I have two omments for your essay. FIrst try to restructure it so it can be more clear when you talk about SK and why you want you want to study there, be specific about the thing you would learn. Then explain why those studies are the perfect fit for your goals in Indonesia, how you would apply what you have learned.

Hi! Some suggestions for your essay is that I think you should group your essay better (maybe break it down) and explicitly explain in each of these broken down sections your goals and why that matters

Hi moondeluna,

The SOP requirement in this section is goal of study and detailed study plan. I feel like your first paragraph is more like your motivation to study in Korea, which should be a minor part or consider moving it to your PS. The exact study plan is apparently too simple and not detailed. It is more like a draft of your outline. Please extend your three-phase plan to a article containing three paragraph indicating your practical plan.