Strong network I get would be beneficial for my career and Indonesia coastal development

Career Plan Essay for CHEVENING

UK and Indonesia are both maritime nations. In 2016, our president, Jokowi, would like more cooperation between UK and Indonesia that concerned on capacity in port management. And also in 2015 UK already has a co-operation with Ministry of Marine and Fisheries. My master study would be focused on that area and I will implemented my knowledge and network in Indonesia after my master study by continue to run the family company and improve it based on what I got from Chevening, either it is ideas and knowledge or even networks. Strong network I get from Chevening would be beneficial for my career and my country's coastal development.

Indonesia has a high fluctuation of tide so floating infrastructures for coastal would be best option. I have an intention to improve it and applied it in Indonesia's coastal just like what my company do by now. Infrastructures are usually need high cost and complex maintenance, but it would be pressed by applying floating infrastructure. Currently my company concerned in designing floating dock and breakwater. And in the future, the technology would be enhanced and more effective in terms of its maintenance and design by applying what I receive from my master study in a great maritime country which is UK.

In addition, I will join a government ministry or government research body to work as researcher and also lecturer. Those career would be both benefit for each other-either it is private sector (my family company) or the government. It would also produce positive result for both UK and Indonesia cooperation in terms of maritime and port infrastructures.

Hi,

Well, I can see that you outline your plan once returning to your home country by continue developing your family business and utilize the study and network from being a Chevening scholar. However, your plan on how connecting between UK and your future plan is still general. In my opinion, try to figure our if there is any UK company/ organization/ that work on the same areas of your interests and connect it with your career plan.

Shofia, you need to stop repeating that you work for your father or family company. You have repeated that in every essay that you have developed even though the Chevening prompt instructions continuously warns you against repeating information in your essay. Please, I am begging you, for your own good, remove those references in all your essays except one. You are endangering your application by constantly reminding the reviewer that you come from a wealthy family. The impression is that you do not need this scholarship because your family is so well placed, but just do not want to pay for an education that you can obviously afford to pay for overseas. Now is not the time to keep bragging about your family's well to do position in your society. That is going to work detrimentally towards your application.

I also noticed that there is no solid reference to a UK maritime project sponsorship in your country. You really need to find such a project to refer to in this essay because without it, your application will be rejected. I have said this enough times. If the UK does not have an active project in your country that serves as a priority interest then your application will not be part of the priority considerations and will have to battle it out with some other non-essential applicants for the remaining limited slots for non priority projects. Which means, you stand a very slim chance of getting this scholarship.

This is one instance when your country's president's idea for more UK - Indonesia cooperation will not matter very much in the context of your application. It is the existing UK-Indonesia project in this field of interest to you that can win or lose you this scholarship in the final round.