Study plans to improve foreign languages required for taking a bachelor's degree course

I am subscribing to KGSP-U later this year, so I'm working on my study plans right now. Would you mind giving your opinion?
A.한국입국전후학위과정수학에필요한외국어(한국어, 영어등) 능력을향상시키기위한계획

KGSP Study Plan A (Foreign Languages)

Study plans to improve foreign languages(Korean, English, etc) required for taking a bachelor's degree course
BEFOREand AFTER you come to Korea.

Since I was a child I have always been a fast-learner, from technology areas all the way to creative areas. I remember being very curious about every single detail of a video-game, and interested on every curious fact behind a movie production. This constant will to learn more has brought many ambitions into my character, such as learning new cultures and languages. I started learning English by myself without even being aware of it, all happened while I explored throughout the internet and got interested in foreign books and video-games. By the age of 12, I entered an English course with classes every week from 2013 to 2016. Aside from taken these classes since young, I will continue to seek formal, academic training in English.

Later on, in my 2nd year of High School, I went to study abroad in Canada, where I stayed in Vernon/BC for a whole semester. The experience that changed my life, it was when I got in touch with Korean people for the first time. The friendships made were enough for me to start learning Korean on my own. However, it is hard to find good content on-line and there are no courses where I live. Since then, I've spend my time on-line on Korean practice chat-rooms in order to exchange language knowledge between Korean and English. Although I am still a beginner, I will keep evolving more and more as long as I study.

Truly, my main focus is to develop a high-understanding of the Korean language by the end of KGSP first year. Since the course is free-provided to the scholars, I will make sure to take the highest exploitation of it. I will be prioritizing the language studies to anything else, so I can be able to get a high TOPIK classification by the end of the year. And since I managed to teach myself for a few years, I believe I can genuinely dominate the language with the help of teachers and the immersion experience. I'll make use of every opportunity that will come.

Furthermore, these improvements can also allow me to accomplish a series of achievements not only in Korea but also in Brazil, as the Hallyu wave grows by each day, the relation between the two countries can get closer. Only a few 1,502 Brazilians live in South Korea, compared to the 50,000 Koreans in Brazil, it is a small number. I believe that the relationship between both countries can get better as many people study the language, opening a vast spectrum of opportunities in multi and national companies.

By practicing Korean and English daily, I will be able to frame myself a better person, since the multilingualism has become highly beneficial, whether is from the social aspect, to financial. Being able to create bonds with people from all around the world is considered one of the finest experiences a human-being can have, and I am sure I'll give the best of me to be able to follow my dream.

Marcelo Averbeck (Do not copy)

Marcelo, the first 3 sentences in the first paragraph do not directly relate to the response for the question being asked so you can remove those references. The more direct your response, the more chances you have that the reviewer will be interested in what you have to say in your response.

You need to create a balanced discussion of how you plan to continue to develop your English written and spoken skills, along with your Hangul skills while a student in Korea. You only referenced a desire to learn more about the Korean language, without really going into specifics. Aside from the free classes, how else do you plan to develop your skills to the point where you will ace the TOPIK test the first time you take it? How do you plan to develop your English written and spoken skills as well? Are you still enrolled in English classes? Do you plan to enroll in more English classes while you are taking the Hangul lessons as well? How and where do you plan to practice both languages? Think of social settings, academic learning opportunities, and career related exposure that can help you polish your expertise in both languages.

As for paragraph 4, this is where my suggestion about thinking of how career exposure can help you become an expert in both languages. Consider your actual study plan for your thesis project in your final year. Can you use both languages in both settings to help you become an expert in both languages before you graduate? If yes, how do you plan to do that?

@Holt
I am working on my study plan and i need your help. How can i contact you?. My email is hanhcom@gmail btw - please use the Services link above and select Mary / Holt to take advantage of her private professional services.