Third approach. I'm ready this time. THIS IS MY LETTER OF INTRODUCTION FOR KGSP

Your course of life, your view of life, study background, your hopes & wishes, etc

Your education and work experience, etc., in relation to the program

Your motivations for applying for this program

Reason for study in Korea

third time lucky

Maybe this is the third time, you read my letter as I had applied for this program third times. I know there is mistakes or deficiency which make me not acceptable. So, I will keep on fix my mistakes and improve my skills. I am someone that hard to surrender, I'm ready to challenge everything. I never quit before finish it.

Now, I am working as a customer service in Bank Kalsel. It is a regional bank in our province Kalimantan Selatan. At first, it was very difficult because I'm not a talkative person, while this job was demanding us to be communicative with customer. But now, I'm happy, this job is help me improves communication skill a lot. I am also joining a club runners in my town for three years. In my second year, I chosen by the founder, to became the captain of this organization until now. Being captain make me consider about responsibility and solidarity through members.

That is my current life. My future is KGSP. I always enjoy adventures, explore new place, meet new people and live in new environment.. And new place for my adventure this time will be in Korea. Why it should be Korea? Because of Hallyu Wave, Korea is most wanted country I want to visit and live. I fell in love with K - Pop and Korea's culture. There is no doubt I will learn many cultures in Korea, learn every history that exist, explore the urban of Korea and make friends with new people I meet. Experiences and knowledges that I get from Korea, I will surely share with people in Indonesia.

@wijaya
I think you should focus about your academic side. Your academic background, motivation that bring you to be you at present. I think the essay has work experience but lack of motivation and reason why you choose Korea. You may give them about the reason but I think that is minor reasons you must mention about education as much as you can.

Hope this help :)

Yelina, this is not an essay that will help your application because it shows a sense of weariness in your words, even as you state a conviction that you will not stop applying for the program until you get accepted. The letter you have written actually does not follow the required format and information for the essay. Maybe it is because you expect the scholarship to have kept a record of your applications and you are expecting them to just refer to that record for your application. Don't do that. Always treat your application with the respect and consideration that a first time applicant essay deserves. That is how you will show your growth as an applicant.

Try to review your past essays and determine the possible weak points of your essays and improve upon those perceived points. You seem to have an idea of where the shortcoming in your previous applications were. So address those mistakes by improving upon that presentation now.

For starters, you should do your best to represent your family background in relation to your current life. Your point of view about life cannot just be based upon the current status of your professional life. It has everything to do with your personal life as well. So if there has been a change in your personal / family life, you should make an effort to represent it here. Make sure to still present your point of view about life, based upon the events in your personal life, along with your hopes and wishes ok? Those are still required elements even if you have already applied to the program previously.

Try to complete your academic presentation. Discuss the college degree yet again. This time though, include information about any seminars and training that you have attended in relation to your profession because that is considered continuous academic training and could count towards the consideration of your application.

Lengthen your professional discussion to represent your current position at your company and what your future looks like in terms of climbing the corporate ladder as a masters degree graduate. Explain that this is the prime motivation for your application.

Your reasons for studying in Korea should have an academic reference to balance out the more common social discussion that you have presented. The current discussion of that part is really weak. It doesn't show a more serious interest in wanting to come to Korea for studies. Perhaps indicate a clear relationship between your line of work and the achievements of Korea in your field of interest? That should balance out the essay in response to the "reasons" criteria.