My interest in the medical field began in 2019 at the local hospital when I accompanied my mother to visit her friend. Little did I know that this visit would be a turning point in my life. My mother's friend, who was barely in her 30s, was lying in a hospital bed with stage 4 brain cancer (metastatic). Sadly, there was no medical infrastructure in Mongolia for advanced treatment. Hence, doctors advised her to seek treatment in South Korea. Unfortunately, she never sought that treatment.
Soon after, I learned the expected cost for treatment in South Korea was nearly USD 80,000, an amount that is a hundred times more than our monthly salary. I wondered why our hospitals don't have the necessary equipment for such treatments.
I could not imagine the pain she must have gone through, both physically and emotionally. This experience left me with a sense of injustice and a burning desire to make a difference. I developed an interest in the medical field. Thus, I set the long-term goal of becoming a medical professional so I could contribute to the development of policy and practical changes that would ensure that no patients would ever suffer hardship due to inadequate healthcare services.
Shortly after being accepted into the Secondary School of the MNUMS, one of Mongolia's top science high schools, I left my hometown and moved to Ulaanbaatar, the capital city of Mongolia, to begin my studies.
I took advanced, university-level biology and chemistry courses and participated in practical laboratory sessions and hands-on clinical experiences. My colleagues and I discussed various topics with our professors, ranging from medical advancements to public health issues. These opportunities broadened my perspective on healthcare and gave me a sense of responsibility as a future medical professional.
After I complete the course and return to my country, I plan to use the knowledge and skills that I acquire through this scholarship to help revolutionize patient care in my home country. I will be able to develop designs for proper medical assessment tools for cancer as well as future emerging illnesses. I want to bridge the healthcare gaps, advocate for patients' rights, and ensure that no one ever has to endure what I witnessed at the hospital.
I have chosen Turkey to further my goals because its research-oriented environment will provide the conditions necessary to gain the skills and master the technologies needed in Mongolia. Additionally, studying in Turkey, a country known for its rich history and vibrant culture, is an opportunity I cherish deeply. It will allow me to serve my country with Turkish experience and knowledge. I also plan to join the internship and research during my studies to broaden my understanding of science.
The last reason I choose Turkey is to promote Mongolia's culture to people in Asia and Europe. I love Mongolia's nomadic lifestyle because I still aspire to spread this positive energy by teaching others about it. And I want to learn about traditions and Turkey's culture.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,844 
4785 Remove the reference to your academic background. That should not be included in a motivational letter. The story about the mother of your friend can be included as a part of your motivation to study in Turkey. However, your reference point may not he believable to the reviewer since it is a friend of tour mom that suffered from cancer. The personal motivation is weak. Normally, the inspiration comes from a direct relationship with you such as a family member or a close friend of yours. Theblast paragraph does not work as a valid reason to study in Turkey. Promoting a nomadic lifestyle may be acceptable in Mongolia, bit could prove to be insulting to Turks. It would be best not to touch on that topic in that manner.
