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I have written my essay for chevening scholarship and need your comments for corrections


SMAHSMAH 1 / 1  
Aug 19, 2016   #1
LEADERSHIP & INFLUENCE QUESTION
Chevening is looking for individuals that will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

(minimum word count: 50 words, maximum word count: 500 words)


Answer: My life is built around the understanding that one's belief in possibilities opens the ways to opportunities; it is not good to always remain comfortable seeing what everyone sees but sometimes to go beyond the normal view in order to see what others have not seen. I believe that it is good to follows others' steps but it is better to go where no one has gone so as to leave a trail. This principles has taught me to always consider new, better and sometimes seemingly difficult ideas and the ways of finding solution to problems, not just to improve my immediate environment but to serve as a role model to positively influence others into understanding and accepting the right things to be done in order to achieve desired results.

I have had several leadership responsibilities since my primary school ranges from the Head Boy, Fellowship Secretary, House Captain, seminar group coordinator, Music Director, etc. and produced meaningful results but for specific reference, I coordinated a team from my university during my final year in the university who represented the university in the National Mathematics Competition for University Students (NAMCUS). It is said that where there is group, there is a leader and where there is a good leader, there is success. I planned and coordinated our group studies, I shared the topics among us after which we met to discuss our ideas and subsequently organized quiz among ourselves to test our individual abilities. I made thorough studies so as to lead by example and to be able to explain when and where no one would. One major thing I did was the constant motivation and encouragement that we could do it even though nobody from the inception of our university had succeeded in winning any prize in such competition which is being organised annually for university students across the country. My aim was not just to make First Class but to also break the record in the history of my university especially in such a competitive examination. The result of the study plan, motivation, encouragement and teamwork is the success we enquired by winning two Medals at the end of the final individual assessment, our university was among the top 15 who made it well in the competition and I was the best in my team.

My past records reveals my determination to succeed in my given responsibilities as an individual or a group with high spirit of selfless leadership no matter the difficulty involved and I am optimistic that I will definitely do more to increase my self-development and to help others achieve excellence and the desired goals.

NETWORKING QUESTION
Chevening is looking for individuals with strong networking skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your networking skills, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future.

(minimum word count: 50 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

ANSWER: Networking is the web of contacts among people of the same or different race, ethnicity, and religion, social, economic or political class. It is a major tool for corporate or personal career development which creates opportunity to know about others' line of views, culture and approaches to certain issues and to assist or be assisted when the need be.

Illiteracy is the major cause of terrorism in Nigeria and the foundation of corruption among the literates originates from the classroom examinations. The case where students hire others to write examinations for them and their involvement in examination-malpractices is due to lack of confidence in them perhaps as a result of poor teaching and this has led several people into corrupt practices unaware. I initiated a programme aimed at assisting students understand mathematics and to build their confidence towards examination by engaging them in open competitive examination. This was not meant for the most brilliant in their classes as all the class members were involved.

To achieve this, I approached organisations and well-meaning individuals like the Central Bank of Nigeria Kano Branch, Kano Electricity Distribution Company, the Department of Educational Resource Development, Hotels, and the Emir of Kano who was the former Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria and a Chevening Alumnus. The aim of this contacts was to create a network of great minds to discuss more ideas and secure sponsorship of the programme and to create enabling environment for its sustenance. I successfully organized several local inter-class quiz competitions in Mathematics and Further Mathematics and the West African Examination Council results of my students reveals a great impact which I believe is due to the initiative.

Being part of the Chevening awardees will enhance my networking skills and provide privileges to be able to involve others in my developmental ambition to contribute to decision-making and to proffer solutions to problems in Nigeria.

STUDYING IN THE UK QUESTION
Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future.

*Please do not duplicate the information you have entered on the work experience and education section of this form (minimum word count: 50 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

ANSWER: After witnessing several cases of ethnic violence and being a victim of it, I know my area of interest which has been part of my life even before I started my secondary school. This is to pursue a career that will create an avenue to study, understand and find solutions to real-life problems, I made a considerate research to know what course will lead me to my dream.

The motivation behind my choice of studying Applied Mathematics Course began when I took two Courses during my undergraduate programme; MTH316 (Mathematical Modelling) and STA 319 (Introduction to Operational Research). These courses gave the answer to my long-time question of how to solve real-life problems using mathematics. This led to my undergraduate research project on The Mathematical Modelling of Ethnic Violence using Differential Equations and designing of Ethnic Violence Risk-level determinant, a software that predicts the outbreaks of ethnic violence in communities in the Northern Nigeria. I have made my decision to choose Operational Research as my career path because of its wider range of applications in the areas of Financial Modelling, Financial Engineering, Data Science, Decision Science, Management Science, Mathematical Medicine and the Military Operational Research with employment opportunities in the Federal Government department of Defence, Finance and Insurance, Professional Scientific and Technical Services, and the management of companies. Research reveals that the employment of Operational Research Analysts will grow by 30 percent from 2014 to 2024 much faster than the average of all occupations because as technology advances, companies will seek efficiency and cost savings and this will lead to the increasing demand of analysts in order to improve decision making and this opportunities are better for those who have at least master's degrees in Operational Research.

Next was to search for Universities where this masters' are well taught since No university in Nigeria offers it. I put these into consideration while making the choice of universities:- the university's strength in terms of teaching resources and research in the field of Mathematics, programme structure, partnership with other companies, summer project placements, international students population, networking opportunities and good practical experience. Hence my choices of The University of Edinburgh, Herriot-Watt University and the University of Southampton which are all ranked among the top 30 for M.Sc in Mathematics in 2017 by CUG Rank.

Chevening Scholarship will set a base for a career I intend to build as an Operational Research analyst to achieve my objective of contributing positively in government and organizational policy-making to avoid past mistakes and give better guides to the future since Chevenig is committed to raising world leaders and decision-maker which I believe that I am one in making.

CAREER PLAN QUESTION
Chevening is looking for individuals who have a clear post-study career plan. Please outline your immediate plans upon returning home and your longer term career goals. You may wish to consider how these relate to what the UK government is doing in your country. (minimum word count: 50 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

ANSWER: A good background in education is a major determinant in growing along a successful career path. It then become necessary to improve my knowledge and skills in a field with relevant training, expertise and resources in order to effectively launch into my career. Master's degree in Operational Research will be a good step in my career development and the journey towards actualising my dreams.

After graduating with a Master's degree in Operational Research, I will go back to Nigeria to work with Management Consulting Firm with key interest in the ministry of defence where I can work with other decision makers in order to strengthen the defence department by providing support to the armed forces through mathematical modelling approach and to assist in the development and implementation of policies in areas pertaining to the fight against insurgency, militancy, and ethno-religious crises by studying, understanding and suggesting the better methods to end any existing case and the ways to avoid further occurrence. I hope to also offer consultancy services to other sectors like the Finance, Insurance and the Petroleum sectors for the economic development of Nigeria if need be.

In years to come I see myself as an expert Operational Research Analyst and an MD/CEO of a private consulting firm with network around the world and competent employees who together we shall provide quality consulting services across diverse agencies to give efficient support in the nation's building and the world at large.

In addition to my work, I hope to go back for my Ph.D. to increase my skills in management and research after which I shall combine research, consulting and teaching to enable me transfer my acquired knowledge, skills and experience to aspiring individuals so as to build enduring legacies in the educational sector where students must not have to travel overseas in other to study Operational Research
dinafayna04 5 / 7 1  
Aug 19, 2016   #2
Hello Smahsmah, here some suggestions for you :

- My life iswas built aroundby the understanding thatof one's belief in possibilities ...

- I have had several leadership responsibilities since my primary school rangeslevel from the Head Boy, Fellowship Secretary, ...
- It is a major tool forto corporate or personal career ...

- ... determinant in growing along a successful in the career path.

- It then become necessary (...) in order to effectively launch(it should be launch effectively) into my career.

Good luck :))
SunnyM 1 / 3  
Aug 20, 2016   #3
Hi Smahsmah, these are my corrections and suggestions...

... Music Director, etc.avoid abbreviation and produced meaningful (...), I coordinated a team from my university during my final year ...

... the top 15fifteen(15) who made it well in ...

... Research reveals (who carried out the research, which year was the research carried out, this will strengthen the essay that the employment (...) grow by 30 percent (thirty(30) percent ) from 2014 to 2024 much faster...

... top 30thirty(30) for M.Sc in Mathematics in 2017 by CUG(give full meaning before abbreviation ) Rank...


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