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If I Were the Leader of the Free World (Speech) - Suggestions?



KeyJewel 2 / 7  
Jan 5, 2011   #1
The assignment was to write a speech, 4 to 5 minutes long, about what we would do if we were the leaders of the free world. I chose cancer research as my subject, because it's something that I've seen affect many people around me. So here it goes:

There are many issues in modern-day society that are given much attention and obviously need to be addressed, but there is a specific one that impacts people's lives globally. Cancer. Those two, simple syllables send terrified patients spiraling toward a vat of untested, unproven information, half-baked treatments, and empty promises. Every day could be their last. It's true for every living being on this planet, but their condition makes it closer to them. Much more real. They can see it echoed in the eyes of their loved ones. They can see it in the doctor's eyes, the nurses. But worst of all is the strangers' pity. The end is coming, and it's so close they could touch it.

Treatments are, in most cases, the patients' only chance to get better. Chemotherapy is often a popular choice, because it is very well-known, even though it comes with certain risks. Firstly, along with destroying cancer cells, it destroys white blood cells, crippling your immune system. It harms along with its healing. Another popular treatment is radiotherapy. With this treatment, a cancer cell's DNA is damaged by the rays delivered by a machine either inside or outside of the body. When the DNA is damaged, the cell can no longer reproduce, so when it dies, it's done. Still another popular treatment is just plain surgery. The tumors and cancerous cells are simply cut out of the body, but you run the risk of cutting an essential organ. More than half of cancer patients receive this treatment.

All of those treatments are widely used and very popular among cancer patients, even though there are deadly risks that are well-known. Why are they so popular? Because, number one, they do work, to an extent. And, number two, what else can they do? What other hope do they have?

My grandfather died of cancer a few years ago, after battling it for several years. There are several people at my church who have or have had cancer. The saddest case is a friend of mine, at 26 years old, that has several sarcoma tumors in different places around her body. She is still battling the cancer using chemotherapy. She is completely bald and she cannot go out in public, because a germ that a healthy immune system could fight off with no complications could be fatal for her.

If I were the leader of the free world, I would financially back cancer research and finding safer cures for cancer. I would support more research into nutritional cures for cancer, because there are many myths and a few truths surrounding this supposed cure, and it would be amazing to be able to have a natural cure that does not harm the body. There have been books published on cures that were later found to be hoaxes. On the National Cancer Institute's website, they discuss nutritional therapy - but only in the context of undoing the harm that another cure is doing to the body. A real natural cure - not a hoax, not a therapy that undoes chemical damage - could be revolutionary. One with no negative effects to your immune system or natural, healthy cells. What kind of impact do you think that kind of cure could have on our and others' lives?

The program for research and production would be run off tax dollars and donations. Yes, taxes would have to be raised in order to get the funds that would be needed. But there have been tax raises for less important reasons, I believe. It's hard to say what deserves our tax money and what doesn't, and I am sure some people will disagree with me, but I think a good, solid cure for cancer would be worth every penny. And we've already spent billions on cancer research. Isn't it time to find a real cure?

The cure for cancer is something that has evaded us for years and years, because every cancer patient is different. It's like a plane crash. Different things can cause it, like lack of fuel or an engine failing, but whatever causes it, it always has the same result. A crashed plane, with people dead, people injured, and families changed forever. But a nutritional cure, while it may not work for everyone, could work across a larger majority of people. A larger majority of cancers. And cancer affects everyone. So the cure would affect everyone. It would make the phrase, "You have cancer", softer, meaning simply a lot of doctor's visits and a changed diet, instead of the thought that you may not live out the year. Cancer is a dangerous thing. But there's one thing that's true about a lot of people, particularly Americans. We're stubborn. And that means we won't give up.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Jan 7, 2011   #2
Whenever you find yourself using 'there is' or 'there are' try to revise them out and see if the sentence improves:
There are Many issues in modern-day society that are given much attention and obviously need to be addressed, but there is a specific one that impacts people's lives globally is cancer.

This is a little more efficient for the intro. Yet, I still have a little problem with it because it implies that cancer is the only one that affects people globally.

Those two, simple syllables send terrified patients spiraling toward a vat of untested, unproven information, half-baked treatments, and empty promises.----wow, you are the poet type... :- very good writing here.

Use a comma here to manage this sentence. And if you are giving the speech, a pause helps to manage the sentence.
She is completely bald, and she ...

Great poignancy and variation of sentence length---> It's like a plane crash.

Different things can cause it, like lack of fuel or an engine failing, but whatever causes it, it always has the same result. ---- My understanding is that it is when something goes haywire dring the process called cell division.

One tough thing about this essay is that all the same stuff could be said about any terminal illness, not just cancer. It is very informative, and it keeps my attention, but is it really what the assignment is looking for? If I had to write about what I would do as a world leader, I would write about many issues, not just one.

For you, I recommend a documentary called "Food Matters." It has some interesting stuff about nutritional therapy for cancer, especially vitamin c.
OP KeyJewel 2 / 7  
Jan 18, 2011   #3
We had to choose only one issue we would address as the leader of the free world. I'll be sure to watch the documentary; especially because its on Instant Watch on Netflix. I fixed the first few things you mentioned, and thanks for the complement.

I also discussed the issue of it sounding like the only issue that impacts peoples lives globally with my English teacher, and changed it to this:

Many issues in modern-day society are given much attention and obviously need to be addressed, but one among many that impact people's lives globally.

Thanks so much for your help!


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