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Ielts: 'the corner stone' - Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society?


samsonyeung 1 / -  
Apr 22, 2014   #1
Hi, I am from Hong Kong and new to the forum. My English is poor, and i really want to get a band 7 in Ielts. I will appreciate if you can help proofread my essay.

Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society?
Give reasons for your answer.


In the present age, people around the world are striving for bigger freedom. Specifically, the freedom of speech has been considered the origins freedom. Therefore my view is that freedom of speech is undoubtedly essential in progressive and liberal society.

Freedom of speech is, essentially, the corner stone of other forms of freedom. Only if the citizens are free to speak up their mind, they can be able to take part in the government policy by giving suggestions. Also, the press could be enabled to report the truth to the public. Without this freedom it is futile to expect political freedom or consequently other forms of freedom. Indeed, the right of speech has already become a basic human right in many developed countries. This point is best illustrated with the example of United State. As being considered the most democratic country of the world, American is proud to claim that they live in the country of freedom. Unfortunately, the U.S government was currently unveiled by the mass media that they secretly supervised all the civil communication on phone and internet. This news shocked the public and aroused a great deal of concern, because it violates the principles of freedom.

On the other hand, others may concern that freedom of speech can be abused for malicious purposes. For example, some people may express their ideas of supporting Nazi regime. In essence, it can also turn out to be a benefit if people can listen to different opinions and made rational judgment by themselves, thereby strengthening their critical thinking.

To conclude, it may be challenging for society to allow differences of opinion out into the open; however, freedom of speech is necessary on the path towards free society.
Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Apr 22, 2014   #2
Dear Samsonyeung,
Welcome to the forum. Glad to see your writing. I suggest you to follow the below essay structure as strict rules, in order to achieve band 7 in IELTS writing module

This point is best illustrated with the example of United State. As being considered the most democratic country of the world, American is proud to claim that they live in the country of freedom. Unfortunately, the U.S government was currently unveiled by the mass media that they secretly supervised all the civil communication on phone and internet. This news shocked the public and aroused a great deal of concern, because it violates the principles of freedom.

-- Never discuss both prons and cons of your examples at the same place. If you are providing an example in support of your idea. stay intact with that prompt. Dont give negative side of the same.

try to use synonyms of the words rather than using the same work repetitively.
for eg: Freedom --> liberty, Speech -- Voice,

Good Luck !!!

...Arun
Shokhusrav 10 / 27  
Apr 22, 2014   #3
Your writing is good. However, you should polish the structure of your essay more. Try to follow the structures that Pahan and dumi give you

the open; however,

the open. However...


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