Your 'ability to do' will appear in other parts of this application. The 'things needed to be done.'

Your 'ability to do' will appear in other parts of this application. Please illustrate here how you properly apply your powers to 'things needed to be done.' The Rochester region and its University enroll, employ, and foster independent thinkers who create positive change in their communities. In seeking to join them, show us how you approach this ideal in your own life, family, and/or community.- 100 words

Below is my written essay. comment if this is ready to use.

The view of kids' happiness just made my day

During my high school year, my class visited a Children Orphanage . When we first arrived , we handed out gifts to the children. We also entertained the kids with outdoor activities. It just made my day when I watched the kids have fun. The smile on the children's face is priceless. I felt delighted to be able to make positive impact in someone's life. By helping the less fortunate, I will be able to inspire other people to spread positive vibes and bring unity in people so that we can make this world a peaceful place to live in.

@marcusimwj


This my friend is a pretty simplistic approach towards such a demanding topic. I'd suggest you to dig a lot deeper and finalize how have you impacted you locale, rather than making a couple of orphans happy for a moment. I'm sure you've done a more interesting and influential task than that. Mention that in brief, as the word limit is ridiculously just 100.

Best.

Marcus, I would not focus on community service or the community at this point. Most of the applicants to this program who post here have already used the same topic. So, if you want to be different, consider something other than the community to prove your ability to do. For example, you can refer to yourself as the topic of discussion. Try to recall a time when you were challenged to do something for your personal betterment. Perhaps it was a change in a negative attitude on your part, or a necessary improvement to something that was already good about you. The idea here is to show that you are capable of taking inspiration from other people, your shortcomings in life, or the demands of particular situations. Also, if you can, show that you are able to inspire others to become better members of the community or better themselves with regards to some questionable aspects of their character. You need to find a deeper reason that just being a community volunteer. The story that you are using at the moment is okay, but can't stand up to comparisons with the other essays being submitted by other applicants for this prompt.