Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 4


Academic Excellence and Christian Values ; Pepperdine



jyoon11 3 / 9  
Dec 16, 2010   #1
Thirty sets of eyes gazed upon my clueless face. My mind was racing for any ounce of thought or idea for me to spew to my audience. My petty improvisations had concluded that the most effective method was a visual kinesthetic approach. I was to recount the birth of Jesus, the Nativity Story. My gallery consisted of twenty three orphans and seven staff members of the orphanage. I was given the amazing opportunity to spend my Christmas day with the orphans at Grace Children's Home.

I immediately volunteered all the staff members to be the actors in my mini recreation. One was Mary, Joseph and the donkey. With no hesitance I asked one of the women to stuff a balloon under her shirt and act as if she was in agony to portray the exhausted pregnant Mary. Moses, the orphanage supervisor, got down on his knees to be the donkey while another man acted as Joseph and showed moral support to his labor-stricken wife. The children brimmed with laughter and smiles as they watched their caretakers partake in the ridiculous spontaneous reenactment.

With no time to waste I jumped to the scene of Mary, Joseph and the three wise men. I asked some of the kids to come up and act like the animals in the manger. Slowly the sounds of animals filled the room, BRAWK-BRAWK, MAAH-MAAH! Then three children with drawn mustaches entered the room and sat beside the new born Jesus and pretended to give him gifts. To conclude, I finished the rest of the story.

I had not realized that by reenacting the Nativity Story I was teaching these children about Jesus. The children's eagerness to listen and learn was profound. These little day experiences have planted a desire to live a life of service. Pepperdine's mission says it all. I want to be a part of a community that puts faith, learning and service as their top priority. A university that says otherwise could not be considered. Pepperdine's commitment to the highest standards of academic excellence and Christian values has only increased my desire to attend a university where their students are strengthened for lives of purpose, service and leadership.

donrocks 5 / 120  
Dec 19, 2010   #2
Your essay has no introduction. Let the essay know how this play process started... you know the anticipation, the hard work and then finally the satisfaction. Talk about more things... Please do put up the essay prompts or question by the college....however, I am assuming that you have written a personal statement. You need to mention more details like your major, why you want to do that major and why that particular college. That makes you sound mature and really sorted out person... one who knows what he wants to achieve. Talk about your personality... that is not just your catholic part but also your passions and how you would like to continue in college. Sound multi dimensional and not just uni-dimensional.

Hope this helps... :)
OP jyoon11 3 / 9  
Dec 20, 2010   #3
well sorry i didnt mention some extra information, this is a supplement to pepperdine... i have already written a essay, this is the supplement and here is the question...

Pepperdine University is a Christian university committed to the highest standards of academic excellence and Christian values, where students are strengthened for lives of purpose, service, and leadership. How are you prepared to contribute to Pepperdine's mission and community of faith, learning, and service?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 27, 2010   #4
Use a hyphen: twenty-three

These little day experiences have planted a desire to live a life of service.----What do you mean by "day experiences?"

I think you should condense the anecdote about the experience, and make it take up only 60% of the space it takes up right now. Make some room for discussion of your goals and plans for this next year. In the next year, you will do things that will affect the environment around you; show how your aspirations for the next year and the next 5 years will make a difference in the community of which you are a member.

:-)


Home / Undergraduate / Academic Excellence and Christian Values ; Pepperdine
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳