Academics and student organizations / Microbiology - Duke Essays

if you are applying to trinity college of arts and science, please discuss why duke is a good match for you. is there something in particular at duke that attracts you?please limit your response to two paragraphs.

I was first drawn to Duke when my guidance counselor recommended it to me as one of the top research universities in the US. Since my goal is to study medicine, Duke is the best place to begin this journey with its highly rated undergraduate research opportunities. I have experience on working on an independent research project for the IB Program. As an undergraduate, I want to exercise my independence by proposing my own research project, while still under the guidance of distinguished mentors.

Aside from academics, Duke's outstanding student life attracts me. With over 320 student organizations to choose from, I will keep myself occupied after class. I can keep practicing my religion by being part of the Muslim Students Association. The Center for Muslim Life is a great way for me to interact with other Muslim students and discuss relevant topics to Muslims living in the 21st Century. Duke University is my choice of university in academics and student life.

if you have participated in any significant research activity outside of school, please provide a brief description and limit your response to one or two paragraphs.

In the 11th grade I undertook the beginning of my Extended Essay. This is an independent research paper that I had to write as a requisite of the IB Diploma Program. I chose to do my essay in Biology, specifically Microbiology. My purpose was to investigate which household cleaner, Clorox or Lysol, has the greatest effect on the bacteria Micrococcus luteus. I used the traditional method of inoculating bacteria on sterilized agar plates. My results for the Lysol treatment showed zones of inhibition, while my Clorox treatment yielded no results.

Throughout this project, I received guidance from my IB Biology teacher Mrs. Marivi Gondola. There were some difficulties I had in performing this research, namely procedure mistakes. However, under the guidance of Mrs. Gondola and extensive research on the method, I managed to successfully undertake this massive project. I believe that the Extended Essay is a great entryway into future research projects at Duke.

In a similar way, I will conduct a study at Duke that will have an application to everyday life. My aim as a researcher will be to help people improve and lead healthy lifestyles.

Try to link these sentences better

For part one, I like the first paragraph, but I think the second paragraph is not good, because it sounds like a brochure. If you say all that stuff about 320 organizations to choose from, it sounds like a brochure. If you talk about the Muslim organization, talk about why this Muslim organization is better than ones at other schools. Really let the reader know the reason for your decision; let the reader know about your plan for life in these upcoming years.

I had some difficulties in performing this research -- namely, procedure mistakes.

However, under the guidance of Mrs. Gondola and extensive research on the method, I managed to successfully undertake complete this massive project. I believe that the Extended Essay is ...

Nice job! This is very impressive.