Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
"I got accepted into UT."
A father figure is important in the lives of every child. I was not any different. I needed a father figure in my life and I had one. He was an excellent "father" and did his job stupendously. There would be no reason for me to ever ask for a better childhood because my childhood is one that every child would envy.
When I was 8 years old, our family moved from Taiwan to Texas. We packed our bags and shipped our furniture off to our new home. We leased our apartment and left my grandparents and other relatives back in Taiwan. A couple weeks after we moved in, my dad went back to Taiwan. I didn't understand at the time but apparently he had to work. I thought for sure he would come back soon, but it wasn't until Christmas did he show up. A couple weeks later, he left only to come back in few months. This pattern went on and is still repeated to this day. It may be easy to think that I was deprived of my dad, but I actually had another one and he was living in the room next to mine the whole time. I called him "my brother".
While most kids at the age of 12 were hanging out with their friends, my brother stayed home and looked after me. My mother had to work and rarely came home before 8 PM. It was up to my brother to take care of me. Every day he would walk me home from the day care right after he gets out of school and every day he would make sure I wasn't bored. The things he came up with to entertain me were endless; we played games, we watched Seinfeld, we did "science" experiments. No one would be able to figure out the inside jokes we came up with. I made very little friends because I didn't need to; my best friend was with me all the time. He taught me all the things a father would teach his son, it was like he was born with natural parental instincts. I was spoiled and slacked off. When he worked at Baskin Robbins, he would bring home two scoops of ice cream and I'd greedily devour all of it. Years later, he went to college.
"I got accepted into UT!" My brother exclaimed. After going to UTD for a year, it was his goal to transfer into UT. While I was happy for him, I couldn't help imagining what life would be like without him around all the time. His absence changed me. He was becoming like my real father; coming back for two days every couple of months. I became bored and lonely. I counted the days left till each holiday when he would come back to visit and dreaded each time he left. It was only after a year did I start becoming more independent. Boredom gradually faded as I made more friends and engaged in more independent activities. I even set a goal to learn to cook by inventing a new dish every week. Slowly I learned to live and function without him and it was becoming more evident that the programs I set myself to pursue had had an effect on me.
My brother may not know the profound impact he had on my life. Nor would he know how it has changed me, but I hope join him next year in Austin and show him what kind of a person he has molded me into.
Too wordy? I need some help on the intro.
Criticisms please.
"I got accepted into UT."
A father figure is important in the lives of every child. I was not any different. I needed a father figure in my life and I had one. He was an excellent "father" and did his job stupendously. There would be no reason for me to ever ask for a better childhood because my childhood is one that every child would envy.
When I was 8 years old, our family moved from Taiwan to Texas. We packed our bags and shipped our furniture off to our new home. We leased our apartment and left my grandparents and other relatives back in Taiwan. A couple weeks after we moved in, my dad went back to Taiwan. I didn't understand at the time but apparently he had to work. I thought for sure he would come back soon, but it wasn't until Christmas did he show up. A couple weeks later, he left only to come back in few months. This pattern went on and is still repeated to this day. It may be easy to think that I was deprived of my dad, but I actually had another one and he was living in the room next to mine the whole time. I called him "my brother".
While most kids at the age of 12 were hanging out with their friends, my brother stayed home and looked after me. My mother had to work and rarely came home before 8 PM. It was up to my brother to take care of me. Every day he would walk me home from the day care right after he gets out of school and every day he would make sure I wasn't bored. The things he came up with to entertain me were endless; we played games, we watched Seinfeld, we did "science" experiments. No one would be able to figure out the inside jokes we came up with. I made very little friends because I didn't need to; my best friend was with me all the time. He taught me all the things a father would teach his son, it was like he was born with natural parental instincts. I was spoiled and slacked off. When he worked at Baskin Robbins, he would bring home two scoops of ice cream and I'd greedily devour all of it. Years later, he went to college.
"I got accepted into UT!" My brother exclaimed. After going to UTD for a year, it was his goal to transfer into UT. While I was happy for him, I couldn't help imagining what life would be like without him around all the time. His absence changed me. He was becoming like my real father; coming back for two days every couple of months. I became bored and lonely. I counted the days left till each holiday when he would come back to visit and dreaded each time he left. It was only after a year did I start becoming more independent. Boredom gradually faded as I made more friends and engaged in more independent activities. I even set a goal to learn to cook by inventing a new dish every week. Slowly I learned to live and function without him and it was becoming more evident that the programs I set myself to pursue had had an effect on me.
My brother may not know the profound impact he had on my life. Nor would he know how it has changed me, but I hope join him next year in Austin and show him what kind of a person he has molded me into.
Too wordy? I need some help on the intro.
Criticisms please.