Hello guys, I'm applying to Boston University. Here are my two supplements.
Any criticism or suggestion will be very appreciated!! Thank you!
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Short Essay: In five or six sentences, tell us how you first became interested in BU and what steps you have taken to learn more about us. (Characters available 750)
In 2008, I accidentally went to BU's PRC Student Exhibit and misinterpreted it as an art show run by BU students from P.R. China. With curiosity, I started browsing BU's website when I got home and was amazed by BU's well-roundedness. Since then, I've visited BU's campus and have been asking for fresh information about BU from my friends who graduated from my high school and enrolled in BU. The more I explore, the more I consider BU a good fit for me because of the Business and Management program provided by Metropolitan College and the Summer Internship opportunities, and the more I see BU encompasses the sole theme of variety. So after watching the Write an Essay that Stands Out video, here I apply.
Essay #1: Given what you know about Boston University, what do you hope to accomplish as an undergraduate here? Please respond in an essay of no more than 500 words.
Among the people that I've talked to, no one doubts that his four years in college is the most juicy and wonderful time of his life. Considering the rich resources and various opportunities provided by BU, I want to accomplish several dreams as an undergraduate as well.
Because of the food processing business my family runs, I was introduced to managerial accounting since I was nine. Helping my parents with their quarter-end closing eventually became my first business experience as well as my first summer job. Spending my leisure to read relevant books on business management and biographies of successful entrepreneurs, such as The Predictably Irrational and the stories of Gordon Moore, further impassions me. I'm therefore inevitably attracted to the BU'S dual degree program in order to receive a master in both business management and psychology. A lot of schools make double-majoring between two colleges almost infeasible; BU, instead, encourages their students to explore various subjects around their interests. I'm confident that by majoring in both business management and psychology, I can develop a more comprehensive understanding of the business world, which is one of the major reasons I choose BU.
Through research, I'm also fascinated by the Auckland Management Internship Program, via which I can apply the business principles I learn in class to the real-world consulting projects while enjoying the natural sceneries in New Zealand.
Speaking of another country, I have to mention the opportunity of studying abroad which is recommended by everyone I know who enroll in BU. I've always regretted for quitting Accelerated Spanish in my senior year, because speaking fluently in Spanish and visiting Barcelona are my dreams. With BU's study abroad program, I can pursue these dreams together quite easily and affordably, while gaining experience by possibly interning in another country.
In addition to business management and studying abroad, I'm looking forward to further accomplishments on painting and guitar. I started painting where years ago and have made quite a progress since then; however, my techniques on oil painting has reached a bottleneck recently. Given BU's rich resources and encouragement of experiencing varieties, I hope that I can increase my paintings' expressive force and have them displayed in the PRC Student Exhibit. On the other hand, the disbandment of my band, The Sillybus, in my junior year is always a pity for me. I wish to reorganize the band and further develop my lead metal guitar techniques in BU.
I believe that my passion can infuse new blood into the community of BU, and BU's intellectual atmosphere can motivate my curiosity and inspire me to accomplish more.
(Please help! I honestly don't know whether or not to insert this paragraph somewhere in Essay 1...
I have learned that professor Ed Barrows is a very involved lecturer and economist. He is known for his understanding of management division and organizational behavior. I always want to systematically learn about how management helps to optimize a firm's profit and how organizations make decisions. Therefore, I really covet a chance to take part in undergraduate research with Professor Ed Barrows and other internship opportunities so I can establish a strong scientific foundation for my future studies while putting the knowledge I gain from class into practice in our real life. )
For the first one, you seem to make a direct link between the essay video and your decision to apply.
For the second one:
I was introduced to managerial accounting sincewhen I was nine.
Spending my leisure to readReading relevant books in my free timeonabout business management and biographies of successful entrepreneurs, such as The Predictably Irrational and the stories of Gordon Moore, further impassions me.
I started painting where years ago and have made quite asome progress since then; however, my techniques onin oil painting hashave reached a bottleneck recently.
You do a good job laying out the ideas to answer this essay prompt, your grammar just needs to be cleaned up a bit. Honestly, I don't know whether you should add the Ed Barrows paragraph. While it is specific, I think it may be focusing too much on one professor, while you tout BU's encouragement to explore interests as a major reason for applying.
In 2008, I accidentally went to BU's PRC Student Exhibit and misinterpreted it as an art show run by BU students from P.R. China. With curiosity (Curious), I started browsing BU's website when I got home and was amazed by BU's (their) well-roundedness. Since then, I've visited BU's campus and have been asking for fresh information about BU from my friends who graduated from my high school and enrolled in BU. The more I explore, the more I consider BU a good fit for me because of the Business and Management program provided by Metropolitan College and the Summer Internship opportunities, and the more I see BU encompasses the sole theme of variety. So, after watching the " Write an Essay that Stands Out" video, here I apply.
(There are some grammar bits in the last sentence that i tried to highlight in red incase you dont see at first glance)
