My achievements - I currently maintain a hydroponics lab at a local PAL.

Essay prompt :NYU is global, urban, inspired, smart, connected, and bold. What can NYU offer you, and what can you offer?
Im having trouble incorporating some of my personal achievements into my essay with out sounding like I'm showing off. In addition i just want to make sure my essay is ok.

What i have so far
NYU offers me a chance to study for a degree in the field of my choice,and the possibility to obtain a degree in that field. By obtaining a degree from a prestigious university such as NYU will open up doors that might otherwise be shut. NYU offers a unique experience that not offered by many other colleges such as being located in a large global city that known for its distinct culture, extracurricular activities and diversity. NYU offers a global campus in which i'm able to travel and experience things i couldn't otherwise.

My achievements
I currently maintain a hydroponics lab at a local PAL. in which I teach younger children about the importance of growing our food sustainable and healthy eating habits.

I was apart of a hydroponics club at my school for two years.
I value hard work and hard work makes the world go round

You don't need to talk about your achievements in this essay. When you are asked "What can you offer NYU?" the main consideration for your response must be academic and social setting of the university. Take your cue for the response from the fact that the prompt describes NYU as


Your response should reflect a similar answer. Highlighting the best character traits you have as a person and a student. Your achievements can be saved for a different and more relevant essay prompt. Right now, concentrate your answer on portraying the best traits you have that relate to the way you can enhance the NYU student community. By the way, about what NYC has to offer you, try to be more specific. Right now, you are talking in general terms instead of showing the kind of interest that a potential NYU student may have in the academic and social community of the school. Talk about some groups you look forward to joining and some projects that you feel you could spearhead at the university in order to enhance the academic and social experience of the students over the next four years.