Of all the activities, in our outside of school, soccer holds the most meaning to me

This is what I have so far:

Of all the activities, in our outside of school, soccer holds the most meaning to me. I have been playing soccer since the age of six and most certainly love it. I have played on many successful and rewarding soccer clubs, and have competed for four years of exciting and vigorous varsity soccer. I have attended several prestigious soccer academies during both summer and my school year. The reason why soccer is so meaningful to me is because it makes me feel good while i am playing and i seem to forget about the pressures of everyday life, whether it be homework or an important essay. To me, soccer is a metaphor of life. It represents life the way most of the world sees it, achievement being due to hard work, but impacted by uncertainties. Soccer has helped me grow as a person and I hope to continue playing throughout my college experience, not only to make it more meaningful, but because if fulfills me as a person.

Please tell me what you think..Be critical!

Thanks

dannyfwk

" Of all activities, in or outside of school " not our ...
"and have completed for four years " cut out "for"

you can also add
"Soccer appeals to me the most since it gives me the most in the form of inspiration, it enlightens in me the passion i have for life"

Hope i could help