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ADMISSION DECISION APPEAL FOR UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON.. to take further consideration


meltinggsoull 1 / -  
Mar 22, 2016   #1
As a prospective student of the University of Washington, I applied for admission to the Seattle campus. Today, I received my rejection letter and in hopes of receiving an offer for direct admission instead, however, I do request that the admissions board to take further consideration of my application.

Throughout my years in high school, my grade trend has not been positive. My grades declined during my junior year. Despite this, I believe that my senior year was academically successful and a learning experience. I feel compelled to justify the reason behind my seemingly poor achievement during my school career.

As a student, my concerns lie with my own intellectual capacity and growth. While it's true that my grade point average dropped during my junior year, I have made up for the bad performance. The significant reason why my grades dropped is due to loss of 8 of my loved ones during that school year. All of these deaths were unforeseen and left me emotionally damaged. I felt adrift, numb and sad. I enrolled in the Running Start program my junior year because I wanted something different. I was still mourning the deaths when my dad dropped me off at Whatcom Community College. I thought I was ready for this step but clearly I wasn't. I was at a new place with new people and I was still going through the process of transitioning from a high school to a college. My grades started to decline and that was a huge burst to my confidence because I almost always got A's in high school. All these events just occurred at a wrong time causing much dilemma and pain. I got bad grades by first quarter Fall 2014 and that affected my grade point average. It was really hard for me to deal with all these emotions. Losing my bestfriend was the worst part and I couldn't talk to my mom either because she lost her siblings and she didn't want to talk about anything. My dad is an alcoholic who scared me away everytime I tried to talk to him. He shut me down saying he is very unfortunate to have given birth to me. I was trying to figure everything out without seeking help since there was no help available around me. I was too afraid to ask anybody else because I had to be strong. This is also a huge reason for my low sat scores because I was never able to concentrate. I was dealing with severe depression and anxiety attacks. I would get an anxiety attack every time I tried to do my homework or go to work. After many months of struggling, I decided to change myself. I decided to seek for help. This step was way out of my comfort zone and I felt so uncomfortable but I decided not to give up. I started with going on websites such as 7cupsoftea which are anonymous websites for people who want to talk. And after some sessions with my mentor I decided to talk to someone closer to me. I went to my cousin for help and it was very hard for me to talk. Every time I opened my mouth to say something no words would ever come out. It was very painful for me because every word I said accompanied with lots and lots of tears. My cousin became my rock and helped me be different. He helped me develop new hobbies that would distract me some brutal thoughts about killing myself. I decided to take the SAT again but still no luck because even though i was healing I was still a broken mess.

After months of trying, I finally started seeing changes in myself. I adapted new hobbies such as running and It really did help me to try to live a positive life. I started seeing a change in my grades. My grades became B's from C's and I started feeling motivated. After knowing that I was safe talking to people i started opening up about the whole situation to everyone around me. Every single person was so supportive and I don't even think I would be alive if it wasn't because of their help. This new year has brought a new life to me. I am so much better than I ever was before. Although, this situation almost forced me to take away my life today I am very very thankful for the whole experience because I wouldn't be the same person I am today. My angles are resting in heaven and taking care of me down here. This experience has helped me grow and become a better person. I raised my grades to all A's fall quarter of this school year. I took challenging courses that helped me develop. I made it on the dean's list at Whatcom COmmunity college and that motivated me to do better. I took even more challenging courses Winter 2016 quarter such as statistics, spanish and biology. And I am very happy to say that I finished statistics with a 95%, spanish with a 94% and Biology with an 85%. Therefore, making it on the Dean's list once again. And I know that I will make it on the Dean's list again because every night I lay in bed and evaluate the things I have done and how far I have come and it motivates me to do better and better every single day. This will be a record for me to make it on the Dean's list the entire year. I have raised my college gpa from 2.6 last year to 3.35 end of winter quarter (not shown on transcript yet). This is such an accomplishment for me. This experience helped me grow outside of academics too. I became really quiet when I started dealing with depression, I would go to work and try to avoid a conversation with people but now I have become so confident and so open that I have made some lifelong friendships with my coworkers and my customers. I became passionate about things, I started doing a lot of extra curricular activities and became a mentor on 7 cups of tea. I am a better person today than I ever was before.

I think I am an excellent candidate for University of Washington because I believe that I will benefit a lot by attending University of Washington. About 3 years ago, I visited University of Washington and right then and there I knew I was in love with UW. A lot of my friends attend UW and I love hearing stories about how amazing UW is and the amount of different opportunities UW has to offer its students. During my junior year, I visited the Foster Business School. As I hope to one day pursue a career related to the Business field, I knew that UW is the one for me, my heart was set on becoming a Washington Husky. Among the nation's leading universities for research opportunities, the University of Washington in Seattle would be instrumental in helping me further my learning. When I visited the campus, I was both impressed and excited for all the opportunities that the University of Washington allows its students to access. As crazy as it sounds, I even have planned out what dorm I want to live in and I have a roommate in my mind. After hearing about all the extra-curricular activities UW has to offer, I even planned to join UW's Indian Student Association, cooking and kickboxing events. I was also excited that UW has a movie night every other week in the auditorium.

I believe that I need to at the University of Washington at this very moment because my heart is full on set to become a Husky. When I was applying to the University of Washington, my mind knew that I will not get accepted because of my stats but my heart said otherwise. I applied to other schools such as University of California, Irvine and I am very happy that I got admitted. Unfortunately, UCI won't offer aid to Out of State students and coming from a low income family, my parent's will never be able to afford UCI. This is a huge reason why I need to be at University of Washington because I need to stay in state to be able to afford college and University of Washington is the best college that will prepare me for my future both academically and professionally.

My overall academic record is not as strong as it could be due to my family situation. I don't think that it is a poor predictor of my future performance because if anything this experience has made me better. I used to go to class to get an A but now I walk out of my classes feeling I have learned something. I have improved so much and I feel passionate about the things I do now rather than doing to for the sake of my resume. My grades have improved and grade point average has increased. My curiosity has driven me to places I never felt comfortable at and even outside of my academics, I feel more passionate about the things I do. I want to help people and make them happy because I have realized that life is very short.

I think University of Washington is perfect for me. My mom says,"If you achieve something that you thought was impossible then you will appreciate it your entire life". This quote inspires me everyday. With my stats, University of Washington is impossible but If i get the opportunity to attend University of Washington, I will forever appreciate it. I believe that I will do my 10o% best at the University of Washington. Attending University of Washington will be a privilege and though others might see University of Washington prestige to be the most enticing factor. I go beyond that to realize that University of Washington has the world class curriculum of the major and amazing faculty. As I see it, there are two options: either I can go to University of Washington, where I can learn from professors who are forefronts of their respective fields or I can go to a community college where I can learn from professors well-informed about what is happening at the forefront of business and economics.

I would like to encourage you to consider my case in its entirety and see that my GPA and SAT scores are not reflective of my academic performance today. I would like to encourage you to offer me acceptance to University of Washington because, as my recent academic record shows, I am capable and willing ot take advantage of the opportunities a premier university like UW has to offer. Moreover, I would like to encourage you to see my life experiences, struggles and values as something which will add to the rich diversity at University of Washington.

Thank you for further consideration. I look forward to hearing back from you.
Yusri31 28 / 31 8  
Mar 23, 2016   #2
Note : It is better when you limit or reduce repetitive word , in this case the using of "University of Washington". You can use "it" as the substitute this word.

I think University of Washington is perfect for me.

With my stats, University of Washington is impossible but If i get the opportunity to attend University of Washington, I will forever appreciate it. I believe that I will do my 100% best at the University of Washington . Attending University of Washington will be a privilege and though others might see University of Washington prestige to be the most enticing factor. I go beyond that to realize that University of Washington has the world class curriculum ...

As I see it, there are two options: either I can go to University of Washington , where I can learn ...

I would like to encourage you to offer me acceptance to University of Washington because, as my recent ...
... something which will add to the rich diversity at University of Washington.

I will try to give you the example

I consider that University of Washington is one of the well-known perfect universities in the world. My mom told to me that,"If you will achieve your desire which is a impossible thing, you will appreciate it your entire life ". This quote has inspired me everyday. Studying in University of Washington for several people is considered as impossible thing due to the reason that this campus has a high grade.


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