Any advise on my essay? It is 164 words right now and it needs to be 150, thanks!
Common app,
Please elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities..
I was hesitant, nervous, and rather uncomfortable. I was a freshman in High School and my friend convinced me to join the allies club. This club met every Tuesday and Thursday to help special needs children enjoy activities such as bowling and soccer. The students were so enthusiastic to meet me, and I soon became comfortable around them. They were not different, they were not unintelligent, they were my classmates that enjoyed music, sports, and laughing, just like me. I was amazed when Emily could listen to any melody played on the piano and repeat it exactly. I could give Tim difficult math problems to solve, and it would take him seconds to get the answer. I could learn from them, and they could learn from me. By working with disabled children for four years it showed me that you can find something in common with everyone, and it is impossible to judge someone that you do not know.
I like that first sentence... nice job.
Don't capitalize high school. Only capitalize it if you are naming a school, like Charlevoix High School. But don't capitalize high school in that second sentence.
Here is a run on sentence: They were not different from other people I know. The y were not unintelligent, and they were my classmates that enjoyed music, sports, and laughing, just like me.
Great theme, great examples! You are cool! :-)
