May someone please correct my essay (or give me advise), it is a rough draft. Thank you!
Prompt: What is your favorite ride at the amusement park? How does this reflect your approach to life?
The vehicle slowly clunked on every track of steel without missing a beat. A repeated pattern that went on as it climbed to the top. I quickly clutched its metallic bar and dug myself into the black tar seat, trying to reinforce my safety. As I gasped for last piece of air, I saw myself being carried up the cascade. "Why did I pick this ride," I iterated. "Why do I pick the hardest things," I mourned.
It stopped! It was mounted two hundred and fifty five feet above the ground! All I could recall now was its name carved out in brown polished stone: Goliath! Suddenly, the cart plunged into darkness! Immediately, G-forces stuck me down as the wind's force helped push me even further. At first I had no sense of what was going on, but I forced myself up and acknowledged my location. As the cart flew through its tracks I opened my eyes and gazed in amazement. At that instance, I wondered why I feared the experience. Then the ride proceeded to heighten with acceleration until it halted to a complete stop. It was over.
At the end, I was glad that I had gone on the "most intense" ride first, since after riding Goliath, everything else seemed easier. Furthermore, had I gone on less strenuous rides, I would have probably never gone on Goliath fearing it to be too freighting. Ultimately, there was benefit in approaching the most difficult tasks first, since they ease up the future.
I was trying to show how i try to take the most challenging things first head on without building up to it, similar to my academic life. Being that I take the most rigorous classes and never the easy classes. I do not know if if i should put that in or if it is already implied. Sorry if that seems confusing
Prompt: What is your favorite ride at the amusement park? How does this reflect your approach to life?
The vehicle slowly clunked on every track of steel without missing a beat. A repeated pattern that went on as it climbed to the top. I quickly clutched its metallic bar and dug myself into the black tar seat, trying to reinforce my safety. As I gasped for last piece of air, I saw myself being carried up the cascade. "Why did I pick this ride," I iterated. "Why do I pick the hardest things," I mourned.
It stopped! It was mounted two hundred and fifty five feet above the ground! All I could recall now was its name carved out in brown polished stone: Goliath! Suddenly, the cart plunged into darkness! Immediately, G-forces stuck me down as the wind's force helped push me even further. At first I had no sense of what was going on, but I forced myself up and acknowledged my location. As the cart flew through its tracks I opened my eyes and gazed in amazement. At that instance, I wondered why I feared the experience. Then the ride proceeded to heighten with acceleration until it halted to a complete stop. It was over.
At the end, I was glad that I had gone on the "most intense" ride first, since after riding Goliath, everything else seemed easier. Furthermore, had I gone on less strenuous rides, I would have probably never gone on Goliath fearing it to be too freighting. Ultimately, there was benefit in approaching the most difficult tasks first, since they ease up the future.
I was trying to show how i try to take the most challenging things first head on without building up to it, similar to my academic life. Being that I take the most rigorous classes and never the easy classes. I do not know if if i should put that in or if it is already implied. Sorry if that seems confusing