Anecdote for Essay: ( Which one are you Again?) Memoirs of an Identical Twin

Which one are you Again? is the title of my overall essay. I am including a story in my essay, but i would like some criticism and corrections on it, so i can improve it. The essay prompt is:

"What was the environment in which you were raised? Describe your family, home, neighborhood, or community, and explain how it has shaped you as a person."

Here is the story:
" In second grade my sister and I decided to try out our own social experiment. The participants, unbeknownst to them, included our classmates and teachers. We decided to switch classes to see how our classmates would react. So that morning instead of lining up behind my class, I nervously lined up behind my sister's class. The results were shockingly boring. No one seemed to be able to notice our scheme, not even the teacher when I had to sit down with her during a one-on-one phonics reading. I was hoping for some unease to set in as my sister's classmates slowly discovered I was an imposter. By the end of the day, we have gotten away with it. We went home with our little secret. Knowing that my best friends couldn't differentiate between me or my sister bothered me. I wasn't my own person, I had to share my identity with another. That realization was the blossoming of my tendency to go out and experience things on my own. "

I am not quite sure where i should incorporate this in my essay, but i know i would like to include it. Thank you so much in advance for taking the time to help me out.

Jasmen, upgrade the school level from second to sometime in high school and the anecdote should be more acceptable to the reviewer. The 2nd grade is not really considered a grade level where such realizations could be had. However, such pranks do happen at those times (I had twin classmates who played that very trick on us all the way to the 12th grade.). It is just the realization of having a shared, instead of individual identity sets in much later in life because at a younger age, you are best friends, playmates, and accomplices in "crime", so to speak. Now, if you want to use this anecdote, I suggest using it as the opening statement so that it becomes the narration that reels in your reviewer to read the rest of the essay. Now, having said that, I would really like to review what you have written in relation to the whole essay you developed. It is important that the anecdote be read in its actual setting so that we can finalize the position and content of the story. Some adjustments might also need to be made in order to make it better suit the overall essay information.

The participants, unbeknownst to them, included our classmates and teachers.Our participants in this devious study were our unwitting students and teachers

SotThat morning instead ...

No one seemed to be able to notice our scheme, noteven the teacher remained unaware even when I had to ...

discovered I was an imposter; however, by the end of the day, we havehad gotten away with it.

KnowingThe knowledge that not even my best friends couldn'tcould differentiate (...) bothered me relentlessly.

I wasn't my own person, I had to share my identity with another.; rather, I was just the second half to a shared identity.

That realization was the blossoming of myled to me developing a tendency to go out and experience things on my own.of going out and experiencing things for myself--alone. "

Great essay besides these few little changes that would make the flow better! Hope you get into your college :)