"angel who cures" - University of Michigan LSA Short Answer

College of Literature, Science, and the Arts (LSA): What led you to choose the area(s) of academic interest that you have listed in your application to the University of Michigan? If you are undecided, what areas are you most interested in, and why?

Medicine has always been a passion of mine since a young age. It might have been my parents' continuous insistence for me to become a doctor, or more likely, the expression of delight that followed the curing of a devastating influenza after a visit to a doctor and that dream.

My nose was stuffed and my voice, low. My eyes were red from the tears that fell as the syringe needle entered and left my skin (and all the time in between). My limbs hung limply as I walked lethargically to my bed, on which I flopped and fell asleep.

Through the darkness of my shut eyes, my bed, came into perception. I lay on it with my arms crossed over my chest with a light shining dimly upon me. My eyes shifted to the right and perceived two man-like creatures. They possessed masculine features but had wings. Their arms were outstretched over me and their lips moved with conviction, and murmurs reached my ears.

My eyes squinted at the sun's light as I awoke from the strange dream. I stretched my arms and let out a large yawn; jumped out of bed, no stuffy nose and weak limbs holding me back, ran to my parents, ecstatically, and told them about my dream. They were flabbergasted at first but eventually told me that the men I saw were angels.

Ever since the dream, I have always dreamed to be an angel who cures and brings joy to a person's life. The only way I can become this angel and fulfill this dream is by becoming the living equivalent of this angel - a doctor.

Any criticisms would be appreciated.

This is the only sentence that jumped out at me, I believe you should leave out that (and all the time in between) part. The reader can figure out that it hurt the entire time without it.

thanks I will remove that line.

Hi,

the expression of delight that followed the curing of a devastating influenza after a visit to a doctor and that dreamThis last three words sound weird.


They possessed masculine features and had wings. Why use but?


sunlight?


";" wrongly used. I think this is a run-on sentence.


I think people will be better.

Besides your dream, I don't really know why you want to study medicine. Try elaborating your academic interest. Good luck.