This is the NYU limerick... some feedbacks please.
Shall I compare you to light or fire?
For I'm the pertrified moth in desire.
Light? Is that you? Unlikely,
Fire? Is that you? Likely...
Nevertheless, I seek cause I'm in dire.
SOME FEEDBACKS PLEASE!!!
A new one
I saw a man reaching for the red moon.
Eighteen years later, I saw him again at noon.
I was a cruious little boy,
Confronted the man with "why?"
"Why not," the man replied, a sharp harpoon.
wow i really like the second better... its very unique and more easy to understand
pablito3
but is it good at all lol?
so no one understand the first one?
I'm a rather a weak applicant so creativity is my key to NYU now, so is hard work and determination etc..
I compared NYU to light and fire, myself to a moth. Light represents knowledge, a right path, a future etc... as for fire, it represent something unattainable(also knowledge) and destruction. I'm just like a moth who will never give up even though I know it's most likely to end bad(death/destruction/rejection).
A peom best represent me, who never gives up. If that make sense now
For both your poem, I think it is absolutely fantastic. I'm having trouble discerning what it says about you though. Once I read your explanation it made sense, but you should keep in mind that NYU wont be reading that explanation, so you might want it to be just slightly more clear. Writing a poem with a vague tone sounds very artistic and good, but keep in mind that they want to find out about you beyond that you know how to write a poem.
Shall I compare you to light or fire?
For I'm the pertrified moth in desire.
Light? Is that you? Unlikely,
Fire? Is that you? Likely...
But(Though) I still search, for my straits are dire.
changed the first one a bit, do you guys think it's better? and should I use though or but?
I'm not good with syllables, how many is the last line (has to be 9-10)...
just wondering can someone just read them and ummm tell me which one is better?
I think I'm finding a trend here