Topic # 6:
Queen of the Jungle
"I'm a lioness and my team's my pride". I half jokingly and half seriously said this to my captain of the basketball team when she asked for a quote to put in the yearbook. At first I laughed at my own pun that I had created in a second and then realized how amazing that simple quote was.
I am most analogous to the queen of the jungle. First of all, I am fierce. This fierceness can be shown through my persistent, ambitious, fearless character. I am not afraid of challenge. Like a lioness keeping a keen eye on her prey, I am focused on my goals, whether they be academic, religious, or social. I am not afraid to take chances or risk my reputation to do the right thing. Although I am not perfect, I am always trying to be the best of me. The lioness lurks in the tall grass ready to pounce on the gazelle when the gazelle feels her presence and quickly vanishes. The way this lioness fails to catch her lunch, I often fail to accomplish many of my goals. For instance I have frequently failed to receive satisfying grades on many tests even though I had worked hard for them. I even failed to get into the volleyball team my freshman year.
The reason I am like a lioness is that I whenever I fall, I get back up again and try even harder. The summer after my freshman year, I practiced bumping, setting, and serving everyday. In the fall of my sophomore year, I impressed the coaches and was accepted into the volleyball team! Then in my junior year, I became the captain of the JV volleyball team and was awarded the MVP award.
I don't fear failure, instead, I learn from it. I am always facing challenges in my life but I eventually learn to overcome them.
Lionesses don't receive enough credit while they are the ones that struggle the most to feed the pride. The lions however, are praised by society, simply for their beautiful manes. I may not be the valedictorian of my school, the all-star athlete, or class president but I can confidently say that I put my heart, mind and soul into everything I enjoy doing, even when it seems impossible.
If I were an animal, I'd be the lion queen.
"I'm a lioness and my team's my pride". ==> "I'm a lioness and my team's my pride." (punctuation goes inside the quotation marks).
"For instance" ==> For instance, (comma after transitions)
Other than those two minor things, I really like it!! Great Job!
Hi Natalia, I think the lion metaphor is nice. However, I don't see 'the lion you' in your essay. Your two examples (good grades and voleyball team) are not 'fierce' enough, and I guess you already know it. Also, there are some too general sentences such as:
- This fierceness can be shown through my persistent, ambitious, fearless character.
- Although I am not perfect, I am always trying to be the best of me.
- I don't fear failure, instead, I learn from it. I am always facing challenges in my life but I eventually learn to overcome them.
