Notes:
I'm an International applicant, so the short answer is about my first visit to New York on a "City Explore program." (It's a program in which members are separated into groups, and each group select a topic they wish to explore about NY. The final presentation about the exploration will decide which group wins.)
Does this short answer seem confusing? I'm afraid I haven't explained this Program clear enough.
Please help me with grammar if there is any single tiny mistake~
ANY COMMENT OR CRITICISM IS WELCOMED!!
Thank you for your time!!
Here's my essay:
Truth to be told, before I first arrive in New York on the City Explore Program, I couldn't even imagine being separated from my mom for more than two weeks. But here I was, in a completely strange city given only a metro card and a NY map, I have to lead my group to plunge into this city and finish the project of exploration on the theme of "love". Strangely enough, i didn't feel nervous or feared, rather, awaited by an unknown jouney, i share the same curiosity and wonder that Columbus must have felt when he first arrived in the new continent. In the following days, we chatted with 100 people: cleaner, shop owner, entrepreneur, street musician... all share a love for New York for varied reasons; We ran through the thick mist in the Greenwich Village, exploring the love story between the city and the art; We even performed in the Central Park Subway Station and collected $30.8 for the people suffering in the Haiti Earthquake in just one hour ! We did the craziest things i could ever imagined. But this program was more than an exciting competition or a maniac trip. It was an Alice Wonderland-like adventure, an adventure that wakened my limitless passion for the unknown world, a passion that would lead me back to the Untied States, where all these dream started, to pursue a famous liberal arts education, that will enable me to delve into a even more beautiful unknown wonderland.
I'm an International applicant, so the short answer is about my first visit to New York on a "City Explore program." (It's a program in which members are separated into groups, and each group select a topic they wish to explore about NY. The final presentation about the exploration will decide which group wins.)
Does this short answer seem confusing? I'm afraid I haven't explained this Program clear enough.
Please help me with grammar if there is any single tiny mistake~
ANY COMMENT OR CRITICISM IS WELCOMED!!
Thank you for your time!!
Here's my essay:
Truth to be told, before I first arrive in New York on the City Explore Program, I couldn't even imagine being separated from my mom for more than two weeks. But here I was, in a completely strange city given only a metro card and a NY map, I have to lead my group to plunge into this city and finish the project of exploration on the theme of "love". Strangely enough, i didn't feel nervous or feared, rather, awaited by an unknown jouney, i share the same curiosity and wonder that Columbus must have felt when he first arrived in the new continent. In the following days, we chatted with 100 people: cleaner, shop owner, entrepreneur, street musician... all share a love for New York for varied reasons; We ran through the thick mist in the Greenwich Village, exploring the love story between the city and the art; We even performed in the Central Park Subway Station and collected $30.8 for the people suffering in the Haiti Earthquake in just one hour ! We did the craziest things i could ever imagined. But this program was more than an exciting competition or a maniac trip. It was an Alice Wonderland-like adventure, an adventure that wakened my limitless passion for the unknown world, a passion that would lead me back to the Untied States, where all these dream started, to pursue a famous liberal arts education, that will enable me to delve into a even more beautiful unknown wonderland.
