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"She appreciates you beforehand" - (Stanford supplement, roommate note)



Meylinaless 1 / 3  
Oct 24, 2011   #1
Hi! I am quite desperate. English is not my native language. I am the only one in my family that speaks english so there is nobody that can read my essays, I would really appreciate some feedback. Feel totally free to be as critical as you wish.

Thanks!

Prompt: Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.

Rommie, now for every worry you may have, she would be there and will say 'we have two hears and one mouth, to hear more and speak less. Now, tell me what's going on'. Almost always she would be so empathic that maybe will cry with your story; and when she feels that there should not be more tears streaming down our faces, she would make you laugh - because you both will need that tears for future blue or hilarious moments-.

She hopes you enjoy the 'empty mind' walks. That is filling her pockets out with her hands, and observe. After a few month you will be used to 'Do you know what I've notice?' question. You will notice that when she reads Harry Potter in English is because she needs to find a comic expression; and when she reads it in Spanish is because she is overwhelmed and needs her mind to take a trip to Hogwarts, to fight the dark side and to learn how valuable love in life is. You can hate Harry Potter but never tell her.

You will laugh at her honesty. All her friends and family do, but call it refined humor. So then, you will laugh at what she now love to call refined humornesty (yes, she loves mixing words). You both will have amusing, tragic and epic memories; she will try her best to make them all epic.

She, your future roomie, appreciates you beforehand.

listix 4 / 11  
Oct 24, 2011   #2
I am doing this same thing. My approach is different to yours. My letter is from the present to my future roommate. Yours seems more like from your future self to your roommate. I must say that I like that approach.

'we have two ears and one mouth

Almost always she would be so empathic that maybe she will cry with your story; I am not sure if the semicolon should go here.

Filling her pockets out with her hands and observing.

After a few months you will be used to 'Do you know what I've noticed ?

One last thing is not writing long sentences. You should break them into smaller ones.

I hope this can help you a bit.
OP Meylinaless 1 / 3  
Oct 26, 2011   #3
Thanks for making me notice those misspellings!


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