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"Architecture; the possibilities are endless" - Why Columbia



greensept375 3 / 5  
Dec 14, 2010   #1
Hiii, I'd really appreciate if you guys could read this and let me know what you think. Thank you all!!

Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why:

I love the architecture at Columbia University. I remember marveling at everything I saw, when I set foot on the main grounds. Ranging from Renaissance to Neo-Classical, structures at Columbia are unique yet they all fit together to create a magnificent campus. This ability to maintain individuality without disrupting order is not only a notable trait of the structures, but is also, more importantly, one of the student body. At Columbia, students from all cultures unite to explore their multifarious interests. Whether it's selecting double concentrations from different departments or joining both Asian American Alliance and French Cultural Society, students don't judge each other for their differences but learn to appreciate everyone's singularity. Although no student is like another, the pride of being a Lion unites all. Here, an engineering genius might find herself attending Professor and founder of Materials Research Corporation Sheldon Weinig's lecture with an aspiring entrepreneur and a math whiz. Here, she will cross the gateway into an environment that has educated presidents like FDR and Barack Obama. Perhaps she'll contribute to the growing list of alumni accomplishments in the near future. To put it simply, the possibilities are endless.

Being at Columbia means having no limitations on what can be achieved. Because, no matter how different the goals are, Columbians will find a way to mold them into one entity. And if I can make it here, I can make it anywhere.

yaoiver 3 / 8  
Dec 15, 2010   #2
I think overall, you brought up a lot of interesting points.
but you need to discuss more on the most appealing.
Perhaps you should try to link up the different points.
Also, try discussing a bit more about yourself, and how the most appealing factor of Columbia will benefit you in your education.
Rocket boy 3 / 2  
Dec 19, 2010   #3
Wow this is a great start. Your essay is truly interesting. But this sounds a bit... u know robotic? It does not sound so convincing. You need to explain a lot more reasons why in order to convince people what you feel. Perhaps you can use your personal experiences in order to make it sound or smooth and super. Or you can use those personal experiences to put them all together in order to make it more convincing.

Also try to use WHY I HAVE TO GO HERE! type of message
That helps you to determine yourself and your essay.
Remember! they want to KNOW YOU.
WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU ARE.


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