This is a crappy rough draft, I'll probably ornate it with more imagery, but I'm just not sure if this topic seems too ostentatious or not >_>
Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.
Growing up in Flushing, New York, I never fully appreciated the vast range of cultural differences in my area. As I walked down Main Street, I only knew how to complain about the stench of the flea markets, the annoying multi-lingual conversations, and the annoying Bollywood store next to my favorite mall. In truth, I did not know I was in a central, cultural melting pot, and how lucky I was. As I got on the plane to Hong Kong, I would soon understand the phrase of "you don't know what you got till it's gone."
When I arrived in Hong Kong, I was excited about the new landscape and the new culture that I would enccounter. I was not disappointed, as the renowned cuisines tasted amazingly refreshing for they had foods I hadn't eaten before. The pop culture there was just as electrifying as that of New York. And yet, even with this excitingly new atmosphere in Hong Kong, something was missing; a link that I could not establish with that of New York. While everything seemed "new," it all seemed to come from a similar source and was not very eclectic. There were no Bollywood stores next to flea markets, or next to Toys R' Us. There were no subway restaurants next to Chinese restaurants, next to Italian restaurants. The conspicuous cultural identities that existed in New York were gone as everything in Hong Kong was "Asian."
After that trip, I came to understand the privilege of living in New York. Having been exposed to a multitude of cultures, I don't consider other ethnic customs weird or awkward, but rather a common aspect to what I see, hear and taste everyday. I hope to my appreciation and acceptance for cultural diversity will contribute to the diversity of University of Michigan.
The beginning of this has sme nice introspection, but I think you present yourself in too negative a light! If you tell the reader, in that first paragraph, that you are talking about how you used to think when you were in jr. high school, that will be better. We don't want them thinking that you only recently began to appreciate cultural diversity.
Okay, at the end you acknowledge that there is nothing wrong with differences, but you can do even better. Tell the reader that your trip to China made you appreciate the diversity of New York, and in that conclusion paragraph tell about what makes diversity meaningful. It is not only okay, but also meaningful and reflective of human nature. and remember to talk about a way that you will contribute to diversity at the school. It sounds to me like what you have to contribute is a sense of appreciation that you can share.
