The University of Florida State has created a main guidline behind the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, and Mores". These words have been what the school has expected it's student body to live up to, and as a student who is looking to attend Florida State, I believe that my own aspects fit these guidelines.
The words "Vires", that speaks about all strengths, including moral, physical, and intellectual is somethign that I feel can describe aspects of myself. Morally, I have always believed that I've matured faster than my age appears to be. I have always taken pride in my descions, whether they may be right in wrong, realizing that I can not regret any of my descions. For if I regret them, it only causes me to ponder on actions that I can no longer take back. Physically, I take joy in all of my hobbies, including, basketball, football, soccer, swimming, and etc. Although, I don't participate in any school sports programs, I take pride in my knowlege of all the game I play and do my best to learn more as time goes on. Sports has always been a major part of my life, and I feel that no matter where I go, the after affects of what I have learned through interaction with them will always be something I enjoy doing. Intellectually, my strength has always been through history. Whether it be through history books, or my own personal history, I have always been fond of learning about the past, and how it can sometimes affect the future. It has always been my best/favorite subject in school, and I feel that as I move up in schooling, it will continue to be my strength in any class I decide to take.
Florida State for a long time has been known for it's outstanding art program, which is why the word "Artes" applies to them so greatly. I feel that some of my qualities can also comprised in the meaning of this words as well. Although, I have never truly taken pride in art, I have always felt somewhat attracted to the various qualities of it. As stated before, one of my main strength is history, and I believe that this also applies to my manerisms dealing with art as well. I believe the history of the world, and how certain things are made is the type of artisitic quality that I am drawn to the most. When I was younger, I was always enjoyed playing with Legos, spending hours and hours playing with them. I would beg my parents, to by the newest edition of Star Wars for me to build. And, when I finished with that process, I would always find myself creating my own type of construction idea.
"Mores", meaning charcter, custom, and tradition, is something that I feel truly conveys my everyday life. As a young Jewish adult, I have often found myself as a minority in almsot any place I go. Learning to deal with Anti-Semitism throughout my life, I feel that it has only solidifed myself as a strongwilled person whether it be about my religion or my regular personality. In character, I have always been taught, that if I want something, I must work hard to get it, no matter what obstacles, and I have always attributed this lesson no matter what it is I've dealt with, whether it be school, or just everyday life.
I believe that these attributes are something that the University of Florida State is not only looking for in it's students, but takes pride in knowing that it has student's that are all around, hardworking individuals. I feel that my assets fit the philosphy that the school has been built around, and I plan to use them as I move on throughout my stay in school, college, and life after college.
d a main guidline behind
This is not a good way to express it.
I think the whole first paragraph is unnecessary. Also, it is not necessary to define vires. use your sentences careful, because you have to make each one count! :-)
Use a spell checker to find typos, like this: somethign
Sports have always been ...
Although, I have never truly taken pride in art, I have always felt somewhat attracted to the various qualities of it.--- this is not a very impressive sentence! I think you should focus on one central truth you want to express. Maybe you can talk about how vires and artes are important aspects of your subject of interest and talk about them as parts of the program you are going to enter.
Right now the essay seems to be written to accommodate the words, when it should be written in the way that uses those words (vires, artes) to help explain a concept that is central to your intentions as a student at this school.
:-)
