Attracted to mathematics - U Michigan essay emergency (need more words)

Essay #2 (Required for all applicants. 500 words maximum) Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests?

I have been attracted to mathematics ever since I was little. I treated it as a game in which players manipulate numbers to complete missions of division and multiplication. Although I sometimes dread the multi-digit algebra, I always get excited after overcoming its extraordinary complexity. As I grew up, I discovered an even more complex aspect of math. The game was no longer simple algebra but algorithms and integration. This new complexity made me enjoy mathematics even more. I could now utilize my newfound knowledge to create different ways of solving every problem. Moreover, these new concepts made me recognize mathematics' applications in the world. The Rubik's cube can be solved with algorithms and the speed of a car can be calculated using integration. As I found more of these connections, I noticed a new meaning to each equation.

Through the top nationally ranked mathematics department in the College of Literature, Science, and Arts, I want not only to strengthen my basic understanding of math, but also to enhance my abstract, theoretical, and critical thinking. The variety of subjects offered by the LSA College will help me understand how math is applied to other fields such as medicine, chemistry, and physics. Also, I hope to use the resources from the Undergraduate Research Opportunity Program to learn more about math's relation to the world and to practice the habit of consistently drawing these connections.

In addition to means for a deeper and wider exploration of math, I believe the University of Michigan will also provide me with the opportunities to connect with a diverse group of individuals. Last summer, I interned in CAAAV Organizing Asian Communities, whose goal is to improve the environment of people living in public housings. There, I joined protests and attended social meetings to fight for the rights underprivileged Koreans, Bengalis, and Chinese. Through this experience, I learned the values of people from various heritages. With various programs from Literacy Initiative to Ginsberg Center Garden, the Edward Ginsberg Center can be a place where I meet an even more diverse group of people.

I believe the University of Michigan LSA can provide me with the best environment for my next four years of academic and social growth.

I really like your first paragraph of connecting mathematics to the real world. To lengthen your essay, you can add more specifics about the college. The LSA isn't the only college with a top nationally ranked math department. Why is it UMich specifically the one you want to go to?

The variety of subjects offer College (like what?)

I hope to use the resources from the Undergraduate Research Opportunity Program (what type of resources?)

You use the words various and variety a lot throughout your essay and I think adding more specific details will enhance your essay overall.

I think it is good essay, but i suggest you should explain more about your subject on college.
Are you sure "Through the top nationally ranked mathematics department in the College of Literature, Science, and Arts," ??

You should make more specific explanation about your essay and reduce too long sentences.
Good luck :)

hello james, you have to be careful with your comment for the next step. Do not give a simple comment.
I see overall your passage is good enough.
and let me try to give some recommendations on your passage


thanks, hope it can helps you