The question i am required to answer is:
What qualities do you have that prepare you for success in the Bachelor of Science program? (250 words max.)
here is what i have written:
One quality I possess that will put me ahead in the Bachelor of Science program would be my ability to think analytically. If there is a math question or a riddle in front of me that I cannot figure out, I will not stop or give up until I get a logical solution that I am happy with. I am driven by curiosity and if I find something interesting I won't hesitate to research further into the topic, sometimes spending hours of my time looking into it. I have an incredible passion for learning about the human body and am currently maintaining a 98% average in Biology 12. I also enjoy Chemistry and find it extremely interesting in topics like Biochemistry where the two subjects amalgamate. Things like cloning sheep, altering embryos in labs and changing or mixing the genetics of different organisms really catch my eye, and I know that these are just the tip of the iceberg. In conclusion, I've been interested in the broad array of topics that the science program covers since a young age and hope to narrow my interests down in university to a career that I enjoy doing.
Thank you for reading! :)
tell me what your thoughts are, or if you have any suggestions on what i could change/ improve
I would just like to say that you should really add a catching thesis. It will add more life to your essay.
If you want to be really impressive, you can change it so that the sentence does not end with a preposition:
If there is a math question or a riddle in front of me that I cannot figure out, I will not stop or give up until I get a logical solution with which I am happy.
The theme idea is great, but do you understand what is meant by it? A great theme for this essay might be "enthusiasm" or "tenacity." Give them a word to remember you by.
Also, my favorite strategy is to show that you are already very invested in this. Show that you have spend countless hours planning your education with this school, and show that you are looking for opportunities at this school to get involved with cutting edge work about which you've been reading. Not just "things like stem cell research, etc." but SPECIFIC articles you have been reading. Show that you are already thinking like someone who has read all the recent articles. :-)
I don't know if you should tell your bio 12 mark because then they might think your other marks are low since you haven't talked about them. What i would advice you is that if you do want to tell them your mark, tell them your average. Its the same with me since all my marks are above 93 but my english mark is 78 which brings my average down. Hope this helped.
That is a smart idea, Shahbaz! Thanks for helping so thoughtfully. I think I agree, but the problem can be solved by presenting the grade in a sentence that is worded carefully. It is possible to give this info in a way that suggests that all grades were good.
:-)
