My background and identity - I'm from Morocco - country with people attached to their traditions

MIT Essay : Cultural Background and Identity.

Morocco is a country situated on the northern side of Africa. Being an Arabic country colonized by France and Spain, the Moroccan lifestyle resembles more to the European lifestyle than the African one even though its people are conservative and attached to their traditions. This cultural mix helped me get fluent in Arabic, Moroccan Arabic, French, and English. I was born in Marrakech and spent most of my life in Temara, a city near the capital. Since I was a child I was always taught to be respectful and solve problems with logic rather than emotions thanks to my dad who always accepted my arguments and tried to convince using logic rather than giving me arbitrary orders.

can someone help me make this essay better ?

You need to use the optional box to allow yourself more space to discuss the topic. Fitting your response into the text box makes the essay impersonal. The depth of your introduction and personality presentation needs more space. You have more to say, I can sense that. Talk more by writing more. Expand on all aspects of the discussion. Limiting the response also limits the knowledge and understanding that can be gained by the reviewer from the written interview. Personally, I believe that the information here is too touristy when you need to blend information about yourself into this presentation. Remember, your cultural background has to explain how you became who you are today. That is missing in the response.

@messilyass
Adding onto what the educational consultant discussed above, I believe this essay is meant to get to know you and your feelings around your cultural background, what you have towards the beginning feels more like you're trying to educate me on the area you are from instead of about YOU and how you identify with your cultural background. Try leaning more towards the feeling your last few sentences give, a sense of where you and your identity come from with your rich cultural background. They want to know about YOU! Talk about how growing up in Temara shaped you culturally, or how your parents introduced their cultures into your family life, what family rituals and behaviors came from their cultural backgrounds and how did they shape you into who you are today.

Also, grammatically this reads very well! So just work more on rewriting this to feel more like your telling us about you and your cultural identity.

I believe that your essay is too short and not detailed enough to describe yourself. You literally spent almost half of your essay writing about your culture, your country, your languages which is very interesting, because it helps readers get to know more about Morocco. Then you wrote about yourself in the last parts. The problem with this part is that it doesn't satisfy readers with the little information on you. You should write more about yourself, such as how logical thinking is related to your culture, how the culture affects you, how you feel about it or good values about your culture. Is there any superstitions that you disagree? Or what are the traditions in your family? Tell people more!