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The band that I organized by myself. Activities that are most important to you

richardli0124 1 / 1  
Jan 14, 2020   #1

UBC application essay

The most important activity for me is the band that I organized by myself.
In early 2018, the local church has no band or any musician that can provide any accompaniment when singing church music during the sermon for better emotional support, so I stood up for it. Many church members gave a positive response to this idea.

I am responsible for many other daily routines to start it. For days, I talked to many different people for the band to start. We started with a room for daily practice. Then I convince a few parents to prepare meals during lunch so that we can practice in the afternoon without leaving the church for food. I shared this concept to many of my friends, who happens to be both teenager and skillful musicians that play different instruments, inspired by my plan and joined the band.

There are lots of problems we had to face during the process as well. Some band members lost fever to attending daily practice and believe that they are good enough to play without preparation. Some of them have difficulties playing eventually gave up. This crisis could tire the band apart, but I managed to fix it with several rules about attendance and cheered them up.

Within a few months, the idea becomes a reality. Until September 2018, we already had a tiny orchestra with about 20 people, with help from a professional violin teacher. Church members and even people with different backgrounds highly appreciate our effort into it. A member of the band told me he thought the plan was too grand to achieve by teens. We had several successful performances during different holidays and welcomed by fellows in various churches.

The experience makes me more confident about my future. Such experience made me more robust against challenges. My leadership skills improved significantly, as well as my teamwork skills. It is both an accomplishment for me and a boost for my future.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,127 3267  
Jan 14, 2020   #2
The time reference in this essay is all over the place. Since the band was established in 2018, that is the past. So all time reference mentions should be in the past tense. You are using present tense words to describe things that happened in the past. Please correct those mistakes. The essay itself is good as it shows an important activity that allowed you excel as a leader, who has good team management, time management, and team building skills. It shows that you are a mature person who knows how to handle crises without giving in to emotional, psychological, and social stress. You have written a good essay that is marred by grammatical errors. Fix the grammar errors and the essay should be good for use.

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