Hey! I'm very ambitious and am looking towards applying to many of our nations finest universities. Duke is my top choice; however, in order to accomplish this goal, one thing I need is an amazing essay! This is my first draft for the common app essay and something I conjured up in a short time, so please let me know and have as many critiques as you can possibly fit into the comment box! Thanks
Battle against Subversion
Standing at the top of Mount Tamalpais, the most beautiful sight I've ever seen, the only thought that comes to mind is my father uttering these four words: "You can't do it!" Although originally intended as a good notion from my father, these were the words that allowed me to have a chance for introspection into life to realize that I had in fact been living a lie for the last fourteen years.
This sounds odd, I realize, but bear with me. For as long as I can remember, I have had an affinity to travel - be it to see the tallest trees in the world at Muir Mountain, cave tubing in Belize, or even building homes for orphans in India.
After returning from a two month tour of my ancestral country India, something felt empty. Seeing a nation with extreme economic growth in the process, there was something that I saw that I never believed I would ever have the opportunity to experience. Seeing the surprising number of orphans shocked me, likewise making me face a reality that felt bizarre, alien.
Having been brought up quite privileged thanks to my father's hard work, seeing the vast amount of orphans felt as if I was watching "CNN," however, unlike watching TV, I couldn't simply change the channel. My father came to America at the age of fourteen with only fifteen dollars in his back pocket. The American Dream did in fact come true for my father, thanks to the grace of God - but where was God for these orphans?
That's when it dawned upon me. I had to be that "change that [I] wanted to see in world." Although quoted from Gandhi during his mission to free the people of India from British rule, I realize that I had made it my mission to help free the people of the world from poverty.
Being young and naive, I energetically took my fortuitous plan to my father addressing the fact that I wanted to change the world. My father, one quick to face reality, bluntly explained, "It's simply impossible. You can't do it!" Young nonetheless, this was a pivotal moment in my life. This was when I decided that I could do whatever I could put my mind to, no matter what anyone else believed - even my own father.
Two summers later, I was in India fulfilling my mission, and after three summers of aggressive donation campaigns, carwashes, and yard sales, we had sent over twenty-five thousand dollars overseas to help build schools, shelters, and whole new lives for the orphans in India. So what now?
Unfortunately, I knew that the money wouldn't go far, but I had realized something through this experience. I had in fact succeeded in changing the world - I had changed the world for these several hundred orphans. It's simply unimaginable to express what I felt at that moment in words, as I wouldn't be doing the moment justice.
Now looking from the peak of Mount Tamalpais at the illustrious Pacific Ocean, meditating upon what I've accomplished, I know for a fact now that there isn't anything in the world that I cannot accomplish.
Battle against Subversion
Standing at the top of Mount Tamalpais, the most beautiful sight I've ever seen, the only thought that comes to mind is my father uttering these four words: "You can't do it!" Although originally intended as a good notion from my father, these were the words that allowed me to have a chance for introspection into life to realize that I had in fact been living a lie for the last fourteen years.
This sounds odd, I realize, but bear with me. For as long as I can remember, I have had an affinity to travel - be it to see the tallest trees in the world at Muir Mountain, cave tubing in Belize, or even building homes for orphans in India.
After returning from a two month tour of my ancestral country India, something felt empty. Seeing a nation with extreme economic growth in the process, there was something that I saw that I never believed I would ever have the opportunity to experience. Seeing the surprising number of orphans shocked me, likewise making me face a reality that felt bizarre, alien.
Having been brought up quite privileged thanks to my father's hard work, seeing the vast amount of orphans felt as if I was watching "CNN," however, unlike watching TV, I couldn't simply change the channel. My father came to America at the age of fourteen with only fifteen dollars in his back pocket. The American Dream did in fact come true for my father, thanks to the grace of God - but where was God for these orphans?
That's when it dawned upon me. I had to be that "change that [I] wanted to see in world." Although quoted from Gandhi during his mission to free the people of India from British rule, I realize that I had made it my mission to help free the people of the world from poverty.
Being young and naive, I energetically took my fortuitous plan to my father addressing the fact that I wanted to change the world. My father, one quick to face reality, bluntly explained, "It's simply impossible. You can't do it!" Young nonetheless, this was a pivotal moment in my life. This was when I decided that I could do whatever I could put my mind to, no matter what anyone else believed - even my own father.
Two summers later, I was in India fulfilling my mission, and after three summers of aggressive donation campaigns, carwashes, and yard sales, we had sent over twenty-five thousand dollars overseas to help build schools, shelters, and whole new lives for the orphans in India. So what now?
Unfortunately, I knew that the money wouldn't go far, but I had realized something through this experience. I had in fact succeeded in changing the world - I had changed the world for these several hundred orphans. It's simply unimaginable to express what I felt at that moment in words, as I wouldn't be doing the moment justice.
Now looking from the peak of Mount Tamalpais at the illustrious Pacific Ocean, meditating upon what I've accomplished, I know for a fact now that there isn't anything in the world that I cannot accomplish.