"Beakers and flask" - Common Application - Extracurricular Short Answer/Essay

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

Here is my response:

Beakers and flasks encompass the walls around me. Chemicals, both inert and toxic, are encased in glass only a few feet away and wait to be prepared into unknowns for the anxious chemistry students. The water distiller drips into the bottle my friend and co-lab assistant, QingWai, placed below its nozzle. The slight murmur of the classrooms surrounding us filters in through the thin walls, but we slave on measuring and naming unknowns, blocking out all extraneous noise. Pestilent Peter and Noxious Nancy accumulate entrapped inside vials, resting for a while, until an unsuspecting student seizes hold of them. Just as Noxious Nancy and Pestilent Peter, many other unknowns passed through my hands and it was through my passion for chemistry and determination to get any job done, that I succeeded as a chemistry lab assistant.

Please tell me what you think. :)
Thanks

Beakers and flasks encompass the walls around me. Chemicals, both inert and toxic, are encased in glass only a few feet away, waiting to be prepared into unknowns ( a bit confusing wording, i sugguest thinking aobut word choice) for the anxious chemistry students.

but we slave on, measuring and naming unknowns, blocking out all extraneous noise.

Pestilent Peter and Noxious Nancy accumulate, entrapped inside vial walls , resting for a while, until an unsuspecting student seizes hold of them.

aha i was so confused for a second cuz i didnt realize that Pestilent Peter and Noxious Nancy were, in fact, chemicals. so maybe make that a bit clear? unless im a real dummy.. ^^ though now that i look at it, i like how you personify these acids.

Just as Noxious Nancy and Pestilent Peter, many other unknowns passed through my hands and it was through my passion for chemistry and determination to get any job done, that I succeeded as a chemistry lab assistant.

hm... i get the whole narrative part, but the last sentence "it was through my passion for chemistry and determination to get any job done, that I succeeded as a chemistry lab assistant." does not seem to flow and seems hastily thrown in at a last effort to make a point. i suggest minimizing descriptive (no matter how wonderful they are), and devote a couple more sentences in talking about how it relates to you and how important it is.