How did you become interested in Knox and why Knox-supplement essay

Help.
Any suggestions or revisions would be ok, thanks!

How did you become interested in Knox and why do you think Knox might be a good match for you?(100-300 words)

Just one click, I felt I have got connection with this college---this is the first school I've found on the CTCL website. Since then, I have continued to search more about its information. Its unusual website design, academic approach, and student body all attract me to explore it further.

I really appreciate Knox' s abundant chances for its students to practice. Having a keen interest in art, I have been self-studied in both photography and filmmaking, and made a micro-movie with my classmates. Since Art needs more practices than theories, I believe the Open Studio can help me largely on this side. I want to use this chance to fulfill my desire of art creating and my demands of hands-on practicing. And also, I want to know what advices would my mentor give me, and what ideas or things would happen during the critical exchanges. I believe this program can/will help me a lot in my understanding of art.

Knox also provides abundant opportunities to study off-campus. I can have the chance to study art in New York or Chicago, but I would be more excited to study in London and Florence. The two ancient cities can definitely inspire me so much. I want to have a holistic understanding of what is behind the two representative art city in Europe, challenge myself from studying a fourth language, and make lots of friends, each have different stories but love art as the same. I believe when I am back at campus, I will then have more things unique to bring in to this campus.

(Note: there is still one paragraph that I did not posted, hope that does not mind. Thanks!)

Amiicho, I am interested to read the last paragraph that you did not post in the essay. The reason that I am interested in it is because I would like you to delete the opening statement of your essay. It is not interesting, does not offer any confidence in the reason why you chose this university, and seems to be so superficial in nature. The reasons why you opted to choose this university becomes stronger with your current second paragraph. So I suggest you go use that paragraph as the opening statement instead of the current one. The one you are using now just doesn't work nor offer any interesting information about you or the reason you chose Knox.

In the current last part of your essay, display a keen interest in the study abroad programs of Knox by specifically mentioning the program and what drew you to that particular program in the first place. Don't fly off to Europe yet in your discussion. You haven't gotten into the university yet :-) Stick to reality and instead discuss how you see the courses Knox offers preparing you for the foreign study programs instead :-) By the way, try to discuss more about how you see the Open Studio program helping you expand your abilities. Make it a stand alone paragraph if possible because the discussion for that topic seems to warrant its own paragraph in the essay :-)