I did not believe in the existence of dreams ; Commom App

I don't know this essay is suitable to be an adimission essay. Welcome all suggestions and critic.
I guess my vocabulary and grammar is the biggest problem.

When the utopia appears on the road, regardless the destruction of good or bad, it is worthy to chase.____ Jack Kerouac

For a long time, I did not believe in the existence of dreams. I thought I was calm and rational, but actually, there is idealism in my blood.

To go to the US for college was not on my list at first. My plan used to be normal and orthodox: get into one of the best colleges in China to learn chemistry, continue studying until I get the Doctor degree, and be a chemical teacher in college until I am old enough to retire. The life plan seemed perfect, but meaningless to me, because I did not like chemistry at all, although I showed a talent for it. I was afraid to admit it at first, because I thought highly of success. Accomplishment was life, I thought.

I did not know what life is until I met Alchemist. I rarely read novels. I mistook Alchemist as a book about early chemists. Thanks for my wrong impression; I had a chance to realize what my life is. The book is a fable about following dreams. Santiago, the shepherd, dreamed of the same treasure for twice until he got aware of it. I had a dream before, but I considered it as my unrealistic infatuation. My dream is to be a director. I would not escape from it any more, because to achieve Personal Legend is the only obligation, but not being success.

To be a director is not a deliberation, but serendipity. Thinking about movies makes me hopeful and relieved with no reason. The feeling is just like when Santiago thought about his treasure, firm, warm, and safe, although not sure about it. I could not explain it, but I would love to believe in it. Belief is a very intriguing thing. It is just like a bag, what is in the bag is not the problem; the power comes from believing itself.

Santiago gave up his sheep to chase his dream; I must give up my easy life plan. When the utopia appears on the road, regardless destruction of good or bad alike, it is worthy to chase it. I changed my plan. I decided to go to America to learn film, although I had never been abroad and live alone. I do not know what will happen in the future, but I am not afraid of it. Just like those hippies through away normal lives but chased for love and peace, I decided to seize my dream tightly regardless failure.

My decision may be reckless, but it does not matter. To be a director is my utopia. When it appears, I must chase it. It is my destiny and what I am living for.

Please read my essay and welcome all critics~

For a long time, I did not believe in the existence of utopia or dreams. I was a calm and rational pragmatist. Reality was the only belief I held. ??? (this is shallow; why use the word belief and invite someone to adopt a philosophical connotation on "Reality", then in turn a negative impression on your absurd treatment of the subject?)

Goodness, you so misuse the word utopia.

You contradict yourself utterly:

First you depict your earlier self as pragmatic.
Then you depict your earlier self, reminiscing "The life plan seemed perfect, but meaningless to me."

You really don't understand the "pragmatist" approach or you wouldn't say its actualization [the life plan] was meaningless to you. The life plan if it's true as your portray it in rhetoric, would constitute the greatest probability of measured success; it would not be "meaningless"; it would be the most reasonable and practical course of action to take.

Orthodoxy and conventionalism are distinct from pragmatism and if you'd be a little less liberal with words you have a distorted semblance of and undertake to understand them sufficiently before using them, you'd realize it.

Grammar and spelling errors are trifling, contrasted to egregious misconceptions that renounce the ethicality of the deed of attributing rationality to your essay.

I thought I was a pragmatic, but actually I am not. I had dreams, too. And to be a chemist is really a good future, but that kind of success is what I don't want. In the past, I was afraid to admit that I did not want that future at all, because it was the easiest way to achieve success. I thought highly of success and considered as the most important thing in life. Now, I won't. I realized that to achieve what I want is the most important thing through the book Alchemist. I'd rather be another Ed Wood than a successful chemist.

Is that explanation valid and rational enough?
I need to work at my words. I knew I had misused them a lot. I will rewrite it as soon as possible.

Dreaming is pragmatic! How else are we to imagine up the future!?

Actually, though.. wow... the improvement you made after Mustafa's comment is great!

Accomplishment was all life comprised , I thought.

I did not know what life was until I discovered Alchemist by Ed Woods.

It is just like a bag. What is in the bag is not the problem; the power comes from believing itself.
Santiago gave up his sheep to chase his dream; similarly, I must give up my easy life-plan.

I like this a lot, especially the end.

Thanks a lot~
This is the first possitive comment I received.

Just go give some ideas to other people and then give them this link to your essay and ask for their points of view.