"I need to believe that extraordinary is possible." Personal statement about urban life

migrating drawbacks and how to improve urban life for all citizens

"I need to believe that extraordinary is possible." This quote from the movie "A Beautiful Mind 2001" altered my perspective. This movie has had an impact on my recognized intellect, and I've always kept myself involved in new work, even after failing over and over again. During high school, I managed to spend a considerable amount of time competing, but I needed a mentor at the time to direct me on the proper approach to competition guidance. In addition to problem-solving, I occasionally took part in several online competitions, such as Physics Cup, Physics BRAWL, and FYKOS. Most of the time, even after putting in a lot of effort, I couldn't solve all of the problems, but I didn't give up, realizing that problem-solving consideration allows me to get to newly found regions of my involvement and is inconceivably useful to me.The Astronomy Olympiad training camp was an amazing time even if we spent the entire day attending classes as well as solving problems, and this rigorous, competitive yet collaborative environment set the foundation for my critical thinking, which has carried me throughout my life. Besides, I was given the need to progress great propensities such as deep work, logical thinking, and learning more from my friends over breaking awful propensities. Personally, it was not as if the knowledge gained from school activities made a difference in me accomplishing my objective, but moreover, the propensities and lessons learned from disappointment.

You did not provide the writing instructions for this personal statement so I cannot be sure about how applicable my observations / advice may be. I'll give it a shot anyway. I noticed that you wrote this essay based on the assumption that the reader is familiar with your background. As these essays are often read by strangers, a quick background introduction as to how you developed this interest and why you became passionate about it would have helped better establish what you learned and your feelings when participating in the activity.

The essay does not bring the reader into the world with you to experience the emotions and lessons. You have explained everything with a sense of detachment. This lack of emotional connection to what you are writing about is what led to an ineffective presentation. It is not interesting to read because you did notseem interested in what you are writing about.