topic
Why Swarthmore?
Please write a brief statement telling us why you have decided to apply to Swarthmore in particular. <2000 characters
It is a pretty well known fact that Swarthmore is one of the top ranked liberal arts colleges in the nation. So instead of answering why I need Swarthmore, I will discuss why Swarthmore needs ME.
Too many students are living in the future, they see the light at the end of the tunnel, but they do not take the time to admire the tunnel itself. I once sat in my father's psychologist office, while my father was recovering from a recent stroke, and he said "At times, it isn't worth it to focus only on your future, your dreams, your ambitions; you need to live in your present, for right now, at this very moment, you are the best that you can possibly be." Once a student at your college, instead of only focusing only on my future, I will take the time to live in the now and add my input to Swarthmore College, participating in organizations such as Terpsichore/Rhythm-N-Motion to student government clubs. Instead of using your college as just tunnel from point A to point B, I will stop once in a while to appreciate and cherish the tunnel, viewing it as a temporary home of sorts.
Some might say that being Asian had put me at a disadvantage when applying to colleges. I am not the smartest, or the most talented Asian that will ever apply to your school. I am not going to lie to your admissions officers explaining how I am deeply in love with your arboretum and read every professors' theses about how they are changing the world. I am an individual who breaks barriers, and I am doing just that.
Ok the whole 'I'm not the smartest etc; I am not going to lie' stuff HAS TO GO. Now you are giving them a reason NOT to admit you. You are pretty much saying, 'Hey, I'm really not that smart, but I'm just giving it a really hard try to get in through luck'. SHOW YOUR CONFIDENCE. And the lying, just don't even mention that PLEASE. I like everything but the last paragraph...
In my opinion, although it is creative, it sounds like you are trying to be such a braggart in this essay. More seariouly, you underestimate Swarthmore. Don't leave that bad impression on your adcom. Frankly, if I were him, I would put your application down right after reading your second sentence.
To be honest, I liked it. I like that you took a risk. Good luck, it could go either way!
thanks everybody!
after applying to literally 6 other colleges, i just didn't give a F about writing this one, just throwing out ideas, literally wrote this in about half an hour...just wanted to hear some feedback. peace <3
