So this is the prompt:
Why Swarthmore? Please write a brief statement telling us why you have decided to apply to Swarthmore in particular.
The limit is 2000 characters if you use the text box, but you can also upload your own essay which is what I plan to do...
It's still a rough draft so any suggestions are appreciated!
A 3:1 tree-to-student ratio. The chance to watch a Motherpucker game. Thoughts of a lazy afternoon spent lounging on the Big Chair on Parrish Beach. In the midst of a monotonous journey through the facts and figures of brick-tower academia, these were quirks that would come to make my visit to Swarthmore stand out in my mind. Months later, this rang especially true as I began to finally tackle the grueling college application process. Swarthmore was at the top of my list.
From the moment I arrived on campus, everything about Swarthmore's appearance seemed to communicate my undefined collegiate hopes. The storybook setting, filled with the calming splendor of nature made me yearn for a camera left at home and as consolation, my eyes sought to soak up all the wide-open space had to offer. The serene ambiance of the many trails, quietly curling through the Crum Woods reassured me that my passion for running would not be relegated to the dreadful fate of fitness center treadmills. The town itself, small and tight-knit, idyllic in appearance, and only twenty minutes from all the opportunities and excitement a big city like Philadelphia has to offer, convinced me that while I wouldn't become just another face in a crowd, I could go get lost in one if I wanted to. In short, I was smitten. As a Navy kid used to small communities and close ties, I welcomed the feeling of familiarity that Swarthmore radiated and I felt as if I was right at home.
While it was the wide-open beauty of Swarthmore that drew me in, it was the unique academic environment and warm student community that served to capture me. The sheer number of classes available to me at Swat was astounding, and the endless opportunities presented by belonging to the Tri-College Consortium guaranteed that I would never be able to fully satiate my many different interests. Touring the campus made me aware of all the nuanced benefits of a Swarthmore education, from the personal attention and face-to-face connections that only small classes can provide, to the excess of beautiful buildings wholly dedicated to academic growth and discovery. My tour guide radiated pure enthusiasm for the school and while her genuinely friendly nature may seem insignificant, sometimes it is the smallest things that make the greatest impacts. Her attitude only served to emphasize that helpful collaboration, not competition, serves as a cornerstone of a Swarthmore education. It is through this elimination of the typical cut-throat GPA war that the greatest ideas have a chance to take root and grow through friendly debate. Swarthmore serves to foster growth, not stifle it, something I find to be indescribably appealing.
Months after my visit to Swarthmore, I have struggled to find a simple explanation for why I'd like to attend. No single reason can fully encompass everything that the school has to offer, as the school's merits are as diverse and unconventional as its student body. Every aspect of Swarthmore would allow me to pursue all of my eclectic passions and haphazardly discover where I'm going in life. Trial and error are welcomed and failure is embraced as an integral part of success, as nothing is ever gained by playing it safe. I can rewrite old pieces of conventional wisdom or spend a day analyzing the traditional wisdom that history has to offer, and it is the intellectual freedom that Swarthmore would give me to do so that is truly unbeatable. Nothing is overlooked at Swat, and there is no other place that I would be more proud to attend.
bimzy
honestly I think the reason you haven't gotten very much feedback yet is because there isn't much to say, it's a fantastic essay! I really enjoyed reading it and as far as grammar or phrasing goes it has no obvious flaws, very nice job! :)
I'd appreciate it if you could look over my essay too, you seem like you really want to go to Swarthmore, I hope you get in!!
no way u'll fit that into 2000 characters. There's no way I can critique an essay that is going to be cut into halves, because then it will lose its overall central theme and details.
Really focus on what it is about Swarthmore you loved and elaborate on it.
