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Is it better to live with a single parent than living with both in an uncomfortable relationship?



gia 7 / 42  
Nov 2, 2014   #1
Hey, guys..this is my first time on this forum.Since English is my second language there may be many mistakes.But, any critics and suggestions are welcome :)

Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

They stared at me constantly from the corner of the room. I remained far from that clumsy and dark rectangular room, too far to witness their ungainly faces, yet I felt their pity for me. Weeping, I was left alone to preserve with the obnoxious surroundings-a police station.

"It's better to live with a single parent than living with both parents in an uncomfortable relationship"; came the words which can scare the wits out of any six year old girl. Nevertheless, the cop told them without showing some prudence. Maybe he was unable to understand the tender emotions of a kid surrounded by lock-ups and those frightening MojoJojos. I'd in no way had imagined that my parents would complain of "Domestic Violence" against each other. Domestic Violence, what's that? However, even the Power Puff Girls couldn't have saved me from the invidious situation where I was being asked to select one between my parents. The cop uttered several terms such as divorce, hearing, and alimony, though my tiny brain could let in only two-name one. Clearly, those days sullied my innocence, my dreams, and my fairy tales alike.

FORTUNATELY or UNFORTUNATELY, they refused to divorce and remained ambivalent regarding their marriage. But it neither stopped those frequent court letters from bundling up in the mailbox nor my tears from spoiling my books. Somewhere deep inside it developed into my biggest adversary.

Childhood memories are to cherish throughout one's life, however that isn't the case here. I hated summer breaks, days my friends spent backpacking and I sulked in thoughts of their exciting and adventurous plans. Our family hardly went for vacations, but when we did, only images that flashes are not on those pristine beaches, or hilltop resorts, or parks but of their inevitabledisputes. I tremendously endured the sufferings. With each year passing by my grades had a steep decline. I was wounded emotionally and gradually turned anomic. Soon, devastating summers comparably turned peaceful when dad separated. Time I spent witnessing the deepening of mom's inverted smile (as I call it). No doubt, pictures of dad skating or attending the annual parents-teacher meeting are something my subconscious album lacks. My mind always occupied with his thoughts. He still dons his favorite blue shirt on Mondays? How much beard, he must have grown? Now who helps him find his lost files? And above all, does he miss his daughter? In general, five years seemed five centuries of my life. However, those years gave certain maturity no other child of my age had- the Power of acceptance.

"When we oppose and resist reality, life becomes an endless series of disappointments, frustrations and sorrows. Once we learn to accept and embrace, we find real happiness." David Richo author of "Five Things we cannot Change" This has changed my perception towards endurance. Adopting an attitude of acceptance can neutralize unpleasant experiences and transform them into pleasant ones. If our own selves don't make an effort to acknowledge, we'll go on chasing shadows and far away mirages forever, never realizing that they only appear beautiful when it's distant from us.

I accepted my world the way it persisted and found myself in a constant state of elation and peace. This knowledge provided me with the opportunity to bring them back together with just a mere conversation of my thought. I learned significantly in life from their "FAILED" marriage, the way people refer; nonetheless with the passage of time we are embracing further love and acceptance.

Is it too bad?...i'm nervous...

samridhitul 1 / 2  
Nov 2, 2014   #2
Hey gia, I am very sorry about what you had to go through. But I feel you should avoid the subject of divorce overall. Talk about what you learned or how growin up in a tough situation has shaped you into who you are today.dont make divorce or violence explicit and dont go too much emotional about it. This is a very sensitive topic and most people will suggest you not to do it but since its so important to your identity, you could go about it in a positive way too. And avoid using caps. Double quote if you have to emphasise. Im no expert but I am a student looking for inspirations for my essay as well and I know its hard to write even a first draft but you could do so much better than this. Please dont take the comment harshly.
OP gia 7 / 42  
Nov 2, 2014   #3
thanks @samridhi...i'll try to revise it and make it the way you described...thnks again :)
torquoiseworld - / 1  
Nov 2, 2014   #4
Hi Gia, I agree with Sam. It's best to avoid mentioning divorce. However, if you do stick with this, don't capitalize FORTUNATELY or UNFORTUNATELY. It's not needed. Try to avoid using quotes. Remember, colleges want your writing, not someone else's! Watch out for your grammar- our family rarely went on vacations instead of what you wrote.
OP gia 7 / 42  
Nov 2, 2014   #5
thanks for the help..i'll omit it, i know its too bold...:)
arpitsardhana 1 / 4  
Nov 3, 2014   #6
You can add how your situations helped you become a strong women.
->Can survive in any situations be it emotionally demanding or physically demanding.
->He helped you understand basis of relations, you have become a better friend and natural leader
->It helped you learn to remain focused even at time of adversaries
->Having faced worst of situations, your mentally prepared to deal with any situations calmly

I can add more but it could be relevant from the context where you are applying
OP gia 7 / 42  
Nov 3, 2014   #7
thank you so much, these points are really helpful.Other than that, is my diction/grammar/sentence structure OK?
arpitsardhana 1 / 4  
Nov 3, 2014   #8
In fact you can highlight one saying that "Victory does not come to fastest, strongest or biggest, however it comes to the person who can stand up every time he falls"
OP gia 7 / 42  
Nov 3, 2014   #9
thanks Arpit, really helpful tips.I'll incorporate them in my new draft.thanks again. :)
OP gia 7 / 42  
Nov 4, 2014   #10
Do you think i should add the 1st 3 paras in a short one? while omitting some topics..and then talk more about me?..am finding it difficult to create a new draft!


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