'the biggest leap of my life' - Fashion Institute of Technology / Fashion Business Management essay

What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to? The essay is also your chance to tell us more about your experiences, activities and accomplishments.

I AM PREPARED

There is plenty to see and experience in the world. Bright lights, beautiful gowns, and runways that stretch for miles are the things that light a fire in me. Born in Vancouver, BC and growing up in Seattle, I've always been accustomed and attracted to vibrant city life and all of its art. Growing up, my mom worked at a fabric store to get herself through school and to support the two of us. My grandmother was also a seamstress. I remember loving the feel of corduroy and look of silk. I knew from a young age I wanted to find my place in fashion.

My younger self thought fashion was only design. Throughout the years I had tried to think of a million alternate career paths. I was interested in psychology, I often found myself wondering why certain patterns made me feel a certain way. Or Zoology, I was constantly drawn to their fur patterns. All the time it came back to the creative side. I often thought about how I could undertake the industry with no actual design talent. When I was 13, my mother got me a book of fashion careers. There were so many to pick from, I realized design was just the tip of the iceberg.

I liked business in general. My mom eventually got her business degree so I knew what that was all about. The idea of mixing an infatuation with something feasible had me ready to jump right in. From such a young age, I was very concrete in what I wanted to do, and I think that is what made me a great runner. Not a lot of people my age then and even now know what they want to do for the rest of their life. I want to be on top of fashion trends, create the best windows possible, and develop strategies. I want to be a Fashion Business Management major.

When I was 16, I had to move to North Carolina due to my Step-Dad's job. Ever since then, I've gone from the metropolitan city of a near million, to a rural town of less than 6,000. As I've gotten older, I've strived to learn about the industry, but it's definitely not easy to go to downtown and check out new clothing lines, be apart of the street style, or stroll through and look for influences. I learn most of what I know about fashion from magazines, social media, and the likes. However, I feel like in order to succeed in the fashion industry I need to immerse myself in it. I know The Fashion Institute of Technology is full of headstrong and cultivated professionals. Going to there, I would able to learn from industry professionals, meet others with the same passions, and walk the city that means so much to me.

Although moving to a simple town 3,000 miles away from home, I believe it has strengthened me as a person and academically. Ever since then I have been very involved with my school and community. I now enjoy not only things like Fashion Club and Writing Club, but also volunteering with pet adoptions and involvement with my local Kiwanis Key Club. One of my greatest achievements has been being named a leader and event coordinator for my school's club, Unified Champions, my county's Special Olympics sports organization. Academically, I feel as if I have redeemed myself by having a very steady and strong improvement in the grade department. Beginning of my high school career, I had my personal trials and tribulations. However, I refuse to let that be detrimental to my goals of attending FIT or becoming the best Fashion Business major I can be.

I am beyond dedicated to everything I have a drive for. I gather that it shows. I am prepared to take the biggest leap of my life by moving to New York City and majoring in a career which some may think is really out there. I am prepared to work myself harder than I ever have. I am prepared to attend the Fashion Institute of Technology.

Maya, you have numerous references in the essay to "young age". Please do yourself a favor and do not mention any age at all. Not even "at the age of 16." Keep it vague, Make generic references to age but do not make direct references to it. Refer to your mindset, your understanding, your eye opening moment, just don't tell the reviewer what age you were at the time. Age references do not help your essay. So keeping it vague in that department always works best.

In the first paragraph, there is a confusing statement. When you say, "Growing up, my mom..." do you mean this happened to your mom as she was growing up or do you mean it happened to you when you were growing up? I think you should instead say "I remember my mom..." that way you make it clear that you are discussing your mother's experience instead of yours.

The main problem that I see with your statement is that you are not making a direct connection between your interest in business, business fashion management, and FIT. In order to inform the reviewer as to why you would make a good candidate for the school, you need to show that you have actual experience in business and in fashion either collectively or separately. It seems to me though that your experience is all in fashion while your mother's experience is in business. She merely influenced your interest in the business side of fashion. So that is a shortcoming on your part that you should address.

It can be addressed by making reference to perhaps you selling your second hand clothes as a bazaar, or some other similar fashion-business related endeavor that you might have had while trying to discover the field of fashion that you eventually came to decide upon for yourself. Maybe you have something in your background that can be passed off as a relevant experience. Think about it before you revise your essay. You need to represent both the business and fashion side in order to make the response work in line with the prompt.

Here is my feedback:

Bright lights, (...) the things that light a fire in me. creates a spark

you can strengthen this part by providing what exactly you worked on in some of the projects "I believe I am a good fit for FIT because of my upbeat, dedicated attitude for what I want to do with my future. Ever since freshman year I have taken initiative by leading things like Fashion Club, French Club and even running my social media accounts posting all about new trends, shows, and the business world of style."

I believe you can cut down a little on first three paragraphs and look for all the courses and how it can enrich your knowledge. How it is relatable to your long term goal. For example a course in computer simulation can help you arrive at many possible combinations and through simulation you can experience a wide range etc etc.

Hope this helps!

Maya, the only relevant portion of your essay in terms of the prompt requirement does not start until paragraph 5. The first 4 paragraphs talk about a background story that doesn't directly involve the reasons why you will be a perfect candidate for a student slot at FIT. When faced with such a situation, it is always best to simply remove, delete, or erase the irrelevant paragraphs. Work on the revision starting from paragraph 5. In some instances, such as this, you can actually best represent yourself in 2 paragraphs, sometimes 3. Don't aim to deliver the full 750 words. A mere 500 - 600 word essay will suffice, anything over 250 words will be acceptable to the reviewer. Concentrate on developing the fifth paragraph because that contains the most effective reasons that you have for becoming a student at FIT. It would be best if you simply develop the thoughts and reasons that you have indicated there when you develop your new response.