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Biology: struggling getting a hook for my academic interests/profession goal paper



Alphaman 1 / -  
Oct 26, 2010   #1
I'm trying to major in biology at University of illinois at urbana-champaign, but i'm having a bit of difficulty coming up with an attention grabber.

Essay 1: In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or professional goals.

I was going to do something like this. but it seems like it would suck

My interest in biology can be traced back to my freshman year in high school. I had always found biology to be an interesting subject interesting since it's studies are based about life. Biology can tell you how you were made, what makes you up, and the processes happening inside your body, But the subject doesn't stay in the boundaries of human studies, it can branch out to all living creatures on earth.

it's really dull and i don't know a way to spice it up, i was thinking of kinda bending the truth so i can make up a story about how my interest grew from childhood and such.

anonstu 1 / 7  
Oct 26, 2010   #2
I think it is dull because you are just stating some facts about biology. Instead of stating facts, throw your feelings, emotions into the paragraph. Make it more personal. That could make a huge difference.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Oct 31, 2010   #3
My interest in biology can be traced back to my freshman year in high school. I had always found biology to be an interesting subject interesting since it's studies are based about life.

This has no substance... just obvious and inconsequential stuff. The way to make it unique is to give the reader a glimpse of the view you have with YOUR particular perspective on biology. What are you going to do for work? What have you done already? What kinds of creative self-expression do you use? Are you a biologist-artist, a biologist-spiritual person, a biologist-entrepreneur, or a biologist-healer? What is your unique combination?

:-)


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