Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
The desk chair squeaked loudly as I plopped myself down in front of my computer screen. I cautiously took a sip of my scalding hot tea, before setting the mug down gingerly. Tired hands rubbed the sleep from my eyes while I waited for the machine to boot up. I was definitely a sight for sore eyes this early in the morning, adorned in an oversized Star Trek t-shirt, my hair messily tied away from my face. The second my desktop was revealed, I logged on to my blog and began typing away. Here, I was free of judgment, free of the anxiety that troubles my mind during many daily activities. Here, I could simply be myself.
When I first started my blog, I laughed at myself. Who in their right mind would choose to read about the life of a simple high school student? At first, I was shy and hesitant to publish the posts I had written. But I evolved from that insecure girl, to someone eager to wake up and share my life with others. Blogging was what forced me to really put myself out there, and improve my self-esteem not only in the online community, but also, and more importantly, in the real world.
I often find myself looking for the beauty in the smallest aspects of my life. Originally, this was to inspire my followers to become sensitive to their daily blessings, and not to ruminate on their troubles. In retrospect, I shared these positive messages in order to convince myself that the world was not only full of the pain and sadness that the media seems to center on. Instead, it is full of opportunity, happiness, and people whom I would not have had the opportunity to connect with if it had not been for the simple decision to share my heart.
Through my journey as a blogger, I have learned more about myself than I could have imagined. I was able to develop my own opinions about society's most controversial subjects, without being too influenced by my parent's points of view, as is common with most people my age. I have become open to perspectives that differ from my own, allowing me to work alongside my peers with ease. I have become excited and passionate about my future and credit my blog to the achievement of many goals. Blogging has changed my life for the better, and has helped me become the confident and diligent young woman that I am today.
....so where is an example of a blogging experience that shaped you? I don't see any in your essay.
I get the idea what blogging is but I don't know any detailed specifics of what really shaped you?
I'm lost and so would an admissions counselor.
Your opening paragraph makes you sound very boring even though you're probably not. Either use some stronger satire, sarcasm or irony in your imagery and maybe some fallacies (look that up).
Closing sentence is kinda common sounding and boring. Flip that around.
Has potential.
The second my desktop was revealed
... not clear to me what you try to say :(
Who in their right mind would choose to read about the life of a simple high school student?
Who on earth would be interested in reading about the life of a simple high school student?But I evolved from that insecure girl, to someone eager to wake up and share my life with others.
But I evolved from the timid introvert girl to someone who is open and eager to share the life experiences with others.What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Can you list at least ten
different phrases, clauses, or sentences pertaining to the question above? If not, we have a problem. (I think what I'm telling you is that the first paragraph seems to take up space better spent on developing some of the ideas you allude to later in the paper.)
I see some slang here ("put myself out there") as well as at least one cliché ("sight for sore eyes").
The good news is that this is a GREAT subject to write about.
