Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 4


Boston College Supplement Life is Like A Ball



a608863a 5 / 21  
Dec 27, 2012   #1
3. In his novel, Let the Great World Spin, Colum McCann writes:

"We seldom know what we're hearing when we hear something for the first time, but one thing is certain: we hear it as we will never hear it again. We return to the moment to experience it, I suppose, but we can never really find it, only its memory, the faintest imprint of what it really was, what it meant."

Tell us about something you heard or experienced for the first time and how the years since have affected your perception of that moment.

Run! Run! You guys will win for sure!" This was what I always heard during my childhood. My father was an enthusiastic soccer fan who enjoyed to watch soccer game in front of TV. Whenever I heard his scream, my mind would raise a question "How do you know that team will win for sure every time?" Once I asked him about this question, he told me "The ball is round, and you never know what will happen in the next moment." At that time, I thought his words merely meant the uncertainty in a soccer game in which the result of a game cannot be predicted easily.

While it's been four years since I arrived at America, I still remembered an embarrassing moment when I first came to an American School: I nervously looked around the school, held my fist tightly in my pocket and tried to understand the conversation and sign in the building with my limited knowledge of English. At that time, I felt like an alien fell onto a mystery land and it was also the first time that I had feeling of away from home. With this experience, I began to work hard to break through the language barriers and learn new knowledge while adapting to this new land.

Who would have thought that I, a new comer, would ever win the first place in the Boston Citywide Science Fair within eight months of study in America? Because of this accomplishment, I develop a strong interest in computer and science and I dream to become a computer engineer because I understand the necessity and importance of overcoming language barriers among people- technology will be the best way to solve this problem.

As time goes by, my father's words still remain in my heart but the meaning has changed. To me life is like a ball, it bounces back and forth. I should not worry about what will come next to me, but keep running until I see the end- the dream.

falks405 4 / 9  
Dec 28, 2012   #3
enjoyed to watch soccer game in front of TV.
enjoy is a verb that follewd by a Gerund

I think would be nice if you put some introduce sentences firstly coz It will clearfy what the main point your essay and what are you're going to talking about..

try to use a wide academic vocabulary in orter to avoid repetitions.
falks405 4 / 9  
Dec 28, 2012   #4
a608863a:
I thought his words merely meant the uncertainty in a soccer game in which the result of a game cannot be predicted easily but it turned out to be a life lesson for me in a foreign land.

I'm a bit confused with that sentence, I think you can divide it on two parts.

a608863a:
While it's been four years since I arrived at America,
you can try use here the "ever since structure" ;) like a Ever since it has I arrived at America, an embarrassing moment when I first came to an American School still fixed in my heart

been four years I arrived at America...

I think you can write somethink like this joining some parts: I arrived at America in order to study as first time, an embarrassing moment...

a608863a:
held my fist tightly
may be you need excep some "first" words, you've already mention time before
a608863a:
I develop a strong interest in science and I dream to become a computer engineer
as a option you can use a present perfect...something like that: i've developed a strong interst in scence and I've dream...

actually, this is a nice story ;)

----------------


Home / Undergraduate / Boston College Supplement Life is Like A Ball
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳