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This brings to me what I want to be - Syracuse University Essay



myacobi 1 / -  
Dec 5, 2012   #1
Tell me your comments please, does it get my message across?
THANKS!!

2. Who is the person you dream of becoming and how do you believe Syracuse University can help you achieve this?

I never really thought deeply about what I wanted to become. It was an event I saw really far away so I never worried about it. However, as my 18th birthday approaches I am starting to get more concerned about it. Now that I have to bring my life to some direction I realize it's such an important decision.

And this brings me to what I want to be. I once met a friend of my father's, he was an incredibly smart person, a genius. He studied Astrophysics and went on to work at NASA for several years. The day I met him I was surprised. He appeared as very a humble guy, for what he had achieved. By talking to him I discovered that he was a hardworker, he was the example of sowing what you reap. Him, and many others like Marie Curie, Michael Faraday or Richard Feynman are among the group of people I look up to. People who achieved their goals through hard work and sweat. I want to be exactly that. I want to study Aerospace Engineering and work hard on doing something that helps other people. It may seem as if the people I mentioned before didn't really help anyone, but indirectly, they did. Science is present at our saily lives and yet an unknown field. We disown most of the Universe we live in, and I want to work to help get a better vision of it. I want to be part of the group of scientists and researchers that changed the way we look at life.

W.H Henley wrote in his poem "Invictus": I am the master of my fate/ I am the captain of my soul. We as persons seek for the control of our own lives. I realized that in order to be the person I wish to become, I need to take control of my decisions, starting with where I want to educate myself. Syracuse University is not only one of the leading research universities of the nation, but it is also a community of people with a common goal: becoming society's leaders and helpers.

Going to SU won't only provide me with the academic knowledge I want, but it will also make me work through adversity while living on my own, meeting different and diverse people who will influence me. Colleges are the places where young minds are brought together and where the sparkle for great ideas is born. Syracuse University leads a research program with brilliant minds and aspiring students that appeals to me as the best place to attain education, both academic and social.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 6, 2012   #2
It was an event I saw really far away so I never worried about it.

I felt it as a far away event so that I never worried or bothered about it.

I never really thought deeply about what I wanted to become. It was an event I saw really far away so I never worried about it. However, as my 18th birthday approaches I am starting to get more concerned about it. Now that I have to bring my life to some direction I realize it's such an important decision.
And this brings me to what I want to be.

Well... this part really seems irrelevant to your topic... You are asked to write about the person whom you dream of becoming and how the uni can help you achieve this dream... In fact what you have written above may sometimes work bad on you because it sort of reflects that you did not have any vision in life. My advice is to remove that part!


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