Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


Brown- academic fields/anticipated degree essay (1000 characters)



joosunggrace 7 / 17  
Dec 28, 2009   #1
I feel like this is kind of generic, but i mean, i'm running out of time as well so i'm not sure how much I can change it... :( I'd appreciate any comments! Thank you so much!

Why are you drawn to the academic fields you indicated in the Anticipated Degree and Academic Interest questions above? (1000 characters)

"Grace, whatever you do, do it for God and to serve others." From early on, I was raised to be a "serving leader"-someone capable of fighting bravely in the frontlines but also digging in with humility as needed. Blessed with parents who encouraged grandly, I my passion to serve others grew through trips to Thailand, Kenya, and Korea where I taught English and distributed aid. Seeing children who could never even begin to dream of my life in the USA, I had vowed to help provide healthcare around the world. When this passion met my love of public speaking and foreign policy through MUN, I knew I wanted to study both international relations and medicine. I'd never ask doctors to work in impoverished nations without working alongside them with skills of my own, nor did I want to wait for others to realize the severity of the healthcare issue. To some, I may seem naïve for wanting such an ideal world, but then again, "Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars".

kenziii 7 / 32  
Dec 28, 2009   #2
At the beginning I almost felt you wanted to join the army. I would recommend an example that does not reference warfare, seeing as you want to help the sick and injured.

I'd never ask doctors to work in impoverished nations without working alongside them with skills of my own,

This is awkward phrasing.

Proofread mine?


Home / Undergraduate / Brown- academic fields/anticipated degree essay (1000 characters)
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳